Addicted
by izzietwilightaddict91
Summary: After the Cullen's left in NM Bella becomes a doctor, who should come back into her life just when she is struggling with her demons? Can they save her from herself? RATED M for Language. PLEASE LEAVE ME A REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
1. Chapter 1

_**OK NEW Story Folks! I really hope you like it! I had a dream the other night and I woke up really early and couldn't sleep so I have eight chapters wrote and edited already so please let me know what you think and leave me a review! **_

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_**Addicted Chap 1  
**_  
_LISTEN TO SIA-IM IN HERE WHEN YOU ARE READING THIS CHAPTER_

_**BellaPOV**_

_**FLASHBACK**_  
_Bella, I don't want you to come with me..._

_Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human..._

_I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed._

_**END OF FLASHBACK **_

As I woke with a start in the on call room of Richmond Hospital I felt cold, I always do after having that dream, I always feel cold and maybe it was because he left me in the Cold Ass Woods and I was near deaths door with fucking Pneumonia after Sam found me or maybe because that is how he makes me feel now, cold and empty...he has made me into this unfeeling person who on the outside is emotionally dead inside.

After Edward left me I kinda went off the rails a little, I graduated High School early and spent my entire year partying with the boys in La Push both before and after I found out they were wolves.

I am a recovering addict and the youngest Resident this hospital has ever seen, I am a kick ass OBGYN and Pediatric Surgeon I am amazing at my job and I know it. At 26 I am officially the youngest fifth year they have ever had even though it is a small town hospital I feel at home and successful and I need to get Edward Cullen out of my head...where was I?

Oh yeah...so after my burnout period I went on a bender and crashed my dads car, thankfully no charges were filed for reckless damages or any drugs charges, I think that was mostly due to my dad being the Chief and he knew how to sweet talk people. I had a pole through in insides and I had a full hysterectomy because the pole went right through my womb, so no babies for me.

A quick stint in rehab and I had came out awaiting an Offer from Stanford because when I was still sane I filled out the application on a whim. Medical School happened and because I went crazy and immersed myself in school I graduated really early and flew through my Residency.

It has made me stronger in the long run I mean Edward leaving was probably the best thing that could have happened because I am a fuck hot, kick ass surgeon.

I can honestly say I would not be like this if Edward was still here...I would be mousy and whiny and probably a vampire I am better off, so why does my chest hurt when I think about him?

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	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey guys thanks for the comments! :D LOVE YOU ALL FOR THE ADDING FAVOURITES ETC**_

_**PLEASE STAY WITH ME THROUGH THIS STORY! i HOPE YOU LIKE IT!**_

_**ANYONE WHO HAS IDEAS FOR THE STORY LET ME KNOW!**_

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_**Addicted Chapter 2 **_

_LISTEN TO MAZZY STAR-INTO DUST_

_**EdwardPOV**_

My life is an empty shell without her in it and I had wanted many times to just rush back to her but she wouldn't want to see me, I know she wouldn't, I destroyed her, left her alone and unprotected but she will be a grown up now probably married with kids.

It took three years of living in my own filth in South America and Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and Leo who is an old friend of Carlisle's to come and drag me home kicking and screaming. I hardly ever hunt only when Alice or Esme give me the sad puppy dog eyes that I indulge them.

When I was in Rio I slipped off the wagon and killed some men. They were rapists and all together bad men but I killed them. I took their life away in the blink of an eye and even just thinking back on it now is enough to give me an aneurysm, can vampires have aneurysms?

I had been given alot of support from Jasper who has been coming along quite well, ever since attacking Bella he has been working on his control and is doing brilliantly. I on the other hand just feel numb. It's as if I can't be alive I am empty and alone so why can't I just be me again?

_"ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO COME WITH US EDWARD_?" I heard Alice in my head and I chose to ignore her.

"Alice just let him grieve..." I heard Rosalie say. Even though she would never admit it I know she misses Bella too. She missed the fact that she never got to talk to her more.

_"When is he going to snap out of it?" _She was thinking to herself. Rose can be quite self-centred and I know she was in pain.

"Come on Rose let's go shopping." Alice said out loud to her and I could hear them talk the whole way into the car.

We decided to start over again as a family with Leo in Richmond, Carlisle got a job in the hospital as an ER Doctor and Leo is teaching Geometry in the school.

I had decided to bypass school and sulk and help Esme in the house. There is no way I could handle all if their impure thoughts and hormonal minds. Carlisle and Esme are gonna tell everyone I was home schooled and got my GED, well that was if anyone asked and I'm not sure they will because I plan to wallow in my room for the entire time.

I know I shouldn't wallow an feel sorry for myself because I left her not the other way around and...you know what it doesn't matter because we are here in Richmond Orgon beginning again and there is nothing I can do to change that.

Our story is that Carlisle and Leo are brothers, Carlisle is 30 and Leo is 26, they both have blonde hair and look alike so it would work. I am supposed to be Esme's nephew whose parents had died.

Rosalie and Jasper were siblings and they were both Juniors also with dead parents and Alice and Emmett were siblings with dead parents, Emmett will be a Junior and Alice is a sophomore. Were all used the same story and it avoided suspicions very well not to mention that people seemed to feel sorry for us.

They all started school in a couple of days, Leo goes in tomorrow to get integrated and settled. Carlisle has his first shift this morning and I can not wait for four years to go before we move again, maybe we will leave before that. Richmond, Oregon...population 1,437 I am literally stuck in a town who hasn't moved forward in time. Please let it move fast.

"Yo little brother come hunting with us!" I heard Emmett say and then Esme shout at him for yelling! I decided to go and try and get Bella out of my mind at least for a little while.

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	3. Chapter 3

_**Hey Guys whats up...so new chapter is ready and I really hope you all like it...**_

_**I have been really happy with the following it has recieved and the reviews etc...**_

_**Some more reviews would be great! please let me know what you think I love constructive criticism.**_

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_**Addicted Chap 3**_

_LISTEN TO LANA DEL RAY-BORN TO DIE_

_**BellaPOV**_

Everyone was all excited for the new ER Doc starting today and as I stood hearing them talk and gush and say how handsome he was I just laughed and filled in my charts. I had been Jonesing for a drink all day and I am trying to ignore my cravings but in all honesty it was getting harder and harder, especially with the fem fem triplets over there.

"...what about you Dr Swan?" One of the fems asked me, Julie I think her name is, she kinda reminded me of Lauren from Forks, except even faker.

"How about me what?" I asked honesty not having a clue what they were talking about.

"You have been single for a while, are you gonna make a play for him...cause I will fight you for him." Oh yeah definitely like Lauren, I just scoffed at her.

"Ok look...you are all standing here like school girls gushing over the quarterback...this man could be married with kids and all of you Pirañas standing around here gawking and hitting on him is not gonna make him feel comfortable it's gonna make him nervous so why don't you latch on to another person...ok"

I think I heard her whisper Virgin Prude under her breath as I slammed my chart closed and my pager went off signaling a case in the ER, hopefully my day will improve. I am known as a cold heartless bitch so my comments to fake Lauren were not all that surprising.

I was not a Prude...or a virgin in fact I have probably had more sex that Fake Lauren when I was high, men...women...I didn't really discriminate so that comment didn't bother me at all what did bother me was the fact that these vultures were treating this man as a piece of ass instead of a Doctor where we should be focusing on is his skill.

As I walked into the ER I saw alot of activity and numerous patients and I almost felt like an intern again wanting to dive head first and grab a patient. As usual interns were fighting among one another and I was a little bit frightened of the young doctors slicing each other open one of these days just to get a better surgery.

"Dr Swan can I help you?" A young nurse said with a smile toward me. I like most of the nurses, the young ones were brilliant, just out of school so they didn't make mistakes.

"I was paged." I said and she nodded grabbing the chart of another male nurse behind the station who smiled at me and I realised I slept with him last week. Not one of my finer moments...neither was it his he was terrible.

"Umm...thirty year old Catherine Wheeler...25 weeks pregnant needs a full workup, after an MVA truck crashed into about a dozen cars. Trauma Room 3, new doctor is in there already." I smiled and thanked her before getting gowned and gloved and headed into Trauma 3.

"What do we got?" I asked slightly loudly as everyone was talking at once and by everyone I meant the interns, as soon as I walked in they all went silenced. Vultures wanted a surgery they screamed over one another and my patience was tried. That's when I saw him, the one Cullen I want expecting but incredibly happy to see.

"Carlisle..." I smiled at him and his jaw dropped.

"Bella..." I could tell that he was just as shocked as I was at seeing me here of all places.

"Wow you're a doctor now...congratulations." he smiled a little shocked before I switched back to doctor mode.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Hey Guys so two chapters in two days I think I am doing quite well here...**

**Please keep me updated with what you think...**

**If it is really bad I want to know...**

**If you like it I want to know...**

**If you are undecided I still want to know...**

**Just want to hear some feedback...**

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**Addicted Chapter 4 **

_LISTEN TO ADELE-MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE_

_**CarlislePOV**_

Once I had arrived at Richmond I felt a sense of comfort in being here, even though I had been asked out about ten times since I walked through the door, I love my job it was second nature to me but I suppose after all of the years I have been practising Medicine it was bound to be just second nature, it was 10am and I was three hours into my first shift when chaos erupted.

I had treated seven patients pronounced two dead and was called in to work on a young pregnant woman.

As I felt her stomach I saw a small slice on her forehead and what looked like a fractured wrist and she was awake and talking to me.

"Is my baby ok?" Her voice was frantic and she held onto her stomach and was crying, most of the time I could handle patients but out appearance makes us unapproachable and I think my patient was picking up on that.

"We have the best medical team here ok just please try and relax and we will look after you ok." I tried to calm her down a little, and in that moment I wished I had Jaspers gift so I could help my patients de-stress.

"Call OBGYN please." I asked a young nurse who quickly ran out of the room just as six interns came in.

"Dr Cullen...do you need an intern to help?" One of them asked before all yelling over one another to get the job of helping they all knew it was surgical an that's what they want the surgery...I swear they are just vultures so I need to nip this situation in the bud, that's when I heard it, a voice I will never forget.

"What do we got?" She asked in her blue scrubs, face bare and hair thrown up into a messy ponytail with a long sleeve jumper on underneath, my lost daughter god she looks amazing...she is a doctor, wait what is she doing here?

"Carlisle..." I was stunned to see her and she looked stunned to see me but happy also, I saw her smile as I congratulated her before she reverted back to Dr mode.

"So what's the story?" She asked checking her injuries and both patient and foetal heart rate.

"Catherine Wheeler passenger of a minivan in MVA pileup tachycardic on route and might need surgery on her wrist I still waiting on x-ray, she could possibly need a c-section, baby's heart rate is a little on the low side." She nodded her head at me as she checked the EKG.

"Dr Swan...I would really appreciate it if I could scrub in..."

"I haven't scrubbed in with you in a while Dr Swan..."

I would really appreciate the chance to learn from you..."

Three interns started talking to her at once and practically screaming in her ear.

"Stop Talking...this patient I'm not even sure if it's surgical...all of you have patients of your own and if I even hear you ask to scrub in on any patients not just mine I will make sure you will not see the inside of an OR for a month do I make myself clear?" I was so impressed with the amount of authority she possessed as she gave those kids a ball chewing.

"How are you Catherine?" she asked in a polite tone and I watched her with her patient.

"Good I feel good a little sore but I'm good how's my baby?" Bella smiled and held touched her shoulder.

"Your baby is ok for now Catherine but the heart rate is a little low ok so we are going to admit you and keep an eye on that ok?" Catherine nodded at her and started ordering people around to do things and get her transferred before I could say anything else she was gone.

I spent the rest of the day sewing and casting and stitching etc till my break when I went looking for Bella. I arrived at the OB ward and was immediately attacked by a woman with enough perfume to make even a vampire hurl and trust me that was a haughty accomplishment.

"Hi...you must be Dr Cullen? I'm Julie...do you need a tour guide?" She ran her hand down my arm and batted her eye lashes and once I showed her my wedding ring didn't deter her.

"Oh sweetie...what happens here stays here." I said and laughed nervously.

"I'm looking for Bella Swan." As I said that it was like I threw a bucket of ice cold water on her and I could tell that Bella was not exactly her favorite person.

"Why? I mean why do you want her?" She asked with such loathing and destain that I almost want to slap her.

"She is an old friend of the family." At this she walked away after mumbling some expletives that was enough to even make me blush.

"Dr Swan is away on lunch..." A young shy girl who's name badge said Ashley told me and I thanked her as I went in search of Bella.

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	5. Chapter 5

_**Hey guys...so happy at the reviews etc I'm getting! **_

_**Please let me know what you guys think!**_

_**I am really excited about this chapter and I hope to maybe post another Chapter tonight if I get some nice reviews!**_

_**Let me know any ways thats you think I can improve...my grammer is terrible so I know that already...but please tell me any ideas you have for the story regarding how I can approach the Bella Edward awkwardness.**_

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_**Addicted Chap 5 **_

_LISTEN TO CHRISTINA AGUILERA-BOUND TO YOU_

_**BellaPov**_

My patient from this morning took a turn and started bleeding out and I had to perform an emergency C-Section. Baby might need surgery on her heart, kidneys and she might have a little bit of damge to the brain. Sometimes I hate this job and with all of the sick babies i feel even worse because all I can think about is Carlisle. Why is he here? How is everyone? Is Edward with him? What will I say to him? How exactly do I approach him? Maybe he will approach me? Do I just ignore him? No that's childish...god I have a headache.

I sat in the cafeteria smiling at Rachel, probably my one and only friend here whom I met in College and who is my room mate here. We share a beautiful two bedroom apartment with a bathroom each and gorgeous balcony and had a dog called Harvey and I loved him, he was the only thing I had became attached to.

"So there he was right completely naked eating a bowl of cereal...Naked in my kitchen Bella..." I laughed at her and her one night stand, I am so glad I had to work tonight she tended to have a lot of those since her father cheated on her mother with his secretary and walked out when she was 10 and all of her boyfriends had been assholes the last one had beat her so now she is has meaningless sex with random strangers it worked pretty well so far.

"...our kitchen you mean?" I laughed as she flicked her wrist in a dismissing manner.

"Yeah whatever...anyway he eats his cereal no sorry our cereal and washes his bowl I mean washes it and puts it away Bella...What kind of a guy does that after a one night stand? Who eats cereal naked in peoples kitchen not to mention clean up after himself he was supposed to do the walk of shame and be gone before I woke up...seriously you have sex they leave bing, bang, boom it's done. Someone invites you back to their apartment for sex you do the deed and leave not stay and eat other peoples cereal naked in their kitchens."

I could only laugh at her really Rachel was one of a kind. She is amazingly loyal and hugely competitive not to mention so gorgeous, She had long blonde hair with these ice blue eyes and size 4 figure and this tattoo of a Phoenix on her back to commemorate her grandmother.

Living with Rachel was easy and lots of fun, I had turned into the biggest whore I mean seriously my first time had been with Jacob and it was his first time to so we had no idea what to do we continued having sex and drinking and I started taking whatever drugs I could score in my crazy period and then I wised up a little and slept around in medical school, Jake was married now with a gorgeous baby girl. I sleep with men and women to fill my needs. Her pager went off and she looked at me.

"Will you be home tonight or do you wanna go for a drink after work?" She asked just as Carlisle makes his way over.

"Bella...can I join you?" Rachel looked at him and me and smiled with her mischief smile. He looked at Rachel to see if it was ok.

"Not at all...I was just leaving, someones brain needs to be cut open." She smiled and waved goodbye mouthing later and pointed to Carlisle.

"She's interesting?" He said with something between a grimace and a smile.

"That one way to describe her." I smile back and eat a bite of my sandwich trying to avoid eye contact.

"Bella do you want to come to the house tonight I know everyone will be so excited to see you." My breath caught in my throat a little at that prospect.

"Will Edward be there?" In all honesty I don't think I could see him yet I am a little bit scared and pissed off.

"Yes he will oh he will be so excited to see you!" I could tell Carlisle was overly enthusiastic toward me and I clammed up.

"Maybe you and Esme could come to my place instead?" I said hoping he would agree because I really wanted to see Esme but didn't want to see Edward.

"Ok that's fine what time?" He had that cheesy grin on his face.

"I finish at six so how does seven sound?" As he nodded his head I smile back at him and my pager goes off.

"My house address is 2b Fortland Apartments and cell number is 555-4356..." I smiled before my pager went off again I stood up and hugged him before running off to my patient.

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	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey guys I want to thank everyone who has reviewed my story. I am enjoying writing it so I really hope you enjoy reading it.**_

_**If you have anything you want me to add to the story please let me know and I will add it for you.**_

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_**Addicted Chapter 6 **_

_LISTEN TO BIRDY-SKINNY LOVE_

_**CarlislePOV**_

The rest of my day was relatively uneventful, I had a few sprained toes excetera all the normal stuff an ER Doctor does and I had already called Esme and filled her in on meeting Bella, and told her everything what she was like and how beautiful she was.

Esme was already planning and plotting after hearing her reaction to Edward. First things first was shopping, Esme was already planning lunch and shopping a mother-daughter bonding days. I know she wasn't really her daughter but Esme missed her so much and loves her like her daughter, Bella is our family and we missed her.

I was hoping that she could keep it a little while longer from Edward because I think that she can be difficult keeping a secret with him in the room...the mind reader. I suppose with all of then planning etc she had going on in her head Edward would try and stay out of her head.

I ended up getting a little bit bored and was walking for about ten minutes when I passed an on-call room and I heard Bella's voice apparently she was on the phone sounding extremely distressed.

"...yeah so how's my goddaughter doing?" She asked some guy who must have been close.

"She is amazing Bella...Nessie and I took her out and she was walking all over the place now..." As this guy was talking to Bella she was answering in one word answers, was it my fault. Since I came back to her life did I knock her off kilter?

"Ok what's wrong?" He must have noticed something was wrong. So I guess he knows her pretty well cause he called her out on her silence and lack of enthusiasm to his conversation.

"What do you mean?" She sounded pissed off and slightly sad. I could tell that she is closed off and doesn't let many people in.

"Bella you're barely talking to me...what's going on?" He was clearly a good friend to her, she huffed and could practically feel the irritation rolling off her from in the room.

"I...have this patient a newborn and she needs me but all I can think of is how much I want a drink and maybe a vicodin...what's wrong with me Jake...babies need me and I'm thinking about drinking I mean what the fuck?" I was confused as I heard her sniffling and crying.

"When did you last have a drink Bella?" Is she an alcoholic? What is going on? Did we do this?

"A week ago at one of the hospitals functions, I thought it was ginger ale...I spat it out." I was very proud of her for that and pissed off at myself.

"Good...that's good Bells..." This man cared for her I could tell and I was silently glad that even though we left that she had someone to care for her.

"Its all I can think of Jake..." She was really crying at this.

"Don't turn a slip into a fall Bella...Get your ass to a meeting!" So Bella was an addict. As I walked away from the door I couldn't help but want to hug her. What have we done?

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	7. Chapter 7

_**HEY HEY HEY! OK So I hope you are enjoying my story! Thank you so much for the reviews I am getting! love them!**_

_**Please let me know if you want anything included in the story! Just leave a review or PM **_

_**The Songs at the beginning iof the chapter are songs that I was listening to as I wrote this chapter! **_

_**If anyone has any suggestions for songs let me know!**_

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_**Addicted Chapter 7 **_

_LISTEN TO FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE-NEVER LET ME GO_.

_**BellaPOV **_

Well my day sucked, I had to perform a hysterectomy on Catherine Wheeler and the baby needed put on the vent, her lungs were not working as well as I would hope and her heart surgery was early this morning before my breakdown to Jake on the phone. My day really sucked and I just wanted to curl up and drink till I puke...that's not healthy right? Not to mention the whole alcoholic thing...god my life is so fucked up and do you want to know why?

Edward Fucking Cullen...that prick left me and of course I had to go all wild child and totally mess up my life...I mean I was such an innocent girl, never drank, never smoked and never had sex. Now I am basically a whore, I mean I really dont descriminate...man, woman it doesnt matter and the town knows it. I am sure there are some pretty hefty stories floating around about me but my attitute is who the fuck gives a shit.

As my day came to a close I had asked Dr Wicker to cover my last hour and went to a meeting in a church close to my apartment, I hated church I felt like I would get smited by just looking at a church but it was either this or the closest bar. I don't feel any better after going but I always go anyway just as penance for my sins.

Once I arrive home I take Harvey for a walk in the park across the road and come home and clean while he chewed his bone on the balcony...about ten minutes later I heard the doorbell, here it goes, this was going to really suck I mean what am I gonna say to all of them. Do I act nice but mad at Edward? Is he even coming? Even thinking his name makes me angry. I swung the door open and there they were, two people I had missed more than anything. I threw my arms around Esme and I felt my body relax and tears pricked my eyes.

"God I missed you so much!" I said and gripped into her tighter than ever i feel like I would fall apart if I let go of her I had forot what it felt like to be round her and how beautiful she is.

"Oh Bella...my darling I have missed you too...so much." I pulled back and saw her eyes glisten with tears that will never fall, and Carlisle gives us both a hug and I just laugh. I can't help but feel like this is where I belong. This is my family back...I am content. We sat talking small talk for a minute and then Esme asked the question I had hoped she wouldn't.

"So Bella your a doctor...wow that's incredible...what happened after we left?" I immediately tensed as she asked this I don't know whether to give them the real answer or make up a new one, screw it they are gonna find out anyway.

"Umm well things got pretty weird after you left but I was wondering if I could wait and tell everyone together. I can't wait to see everyone but I don't want to have to repeat anything." This seemed to be ok because they just smiled and nodded their heads.

It started raining so I let Harvey in and he came running over to me and starting bouncing around and dancing. Carlisle and Esme tensed as he came running over to them and sniffed before sitting and barking holding his paw up for Esme to take it.

"What's this?" Carlisle asked me with curiosity. Have they really never saw a dog before?

"This is Harvey...he is my Schnauzer dog. He likes you...he's not making you hungry is he?" I was scared incase they get hungry I mean how do I explain to Rachel that Harvey got eaten.

"No I'm not hungry but animals usually run away from us." I was a little bit amused that my little dog was trying to play with Carlisle and rubbing up against Esme.

"I have never been up close to a small dog before...just werewolves..." I decided to bite my Tongue about Jake and the pack. Esme picked up the puppy and started licking her, this was a good start I think, in a way.

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	8. Chapter 8

_**Hey guys I want to thank everyone who has reviewed my story they really do make my day! And all of the alerts put on I am really enjoying writing this fic so I'm glad you enjoy reading it...**_

_**Some of my reviewers wanted me to make Bella push the Cullens away...all of the Cullens at first but I cant do that I'm really sorry but Bella and Edward are going to have a bumpy road to get through so please bear with me as I go on please!**_

_**So my cousin is proofreading my chapters and she is liking it too and adding things here and there so thank you Helen for helping me!**_

_**ONWARD! DROP ME A REVIEW IF YOU WANT SOMETHING ELSE ADDED TO MY STORY!**_

_**LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THE SONGS ALSO! I DECIDED TO SHARE MY FAVOURITE SONGS WITH YOU GUYS SO I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM i AM GOING TO ADD ONE TO EACH CHAPTER!**_

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_**Addicted Chapter 8 **_

_HOPE-WHO AM I TO SAY  
_  
_**BellaPOV**_

It was as if they never left, Carlisle asked me all about Stanford and had filled me in on what the family has been up to...he stayed clear from the subject of Edward and I am guessing he clued Esme in to also keep that subject off tonights docket.

My arms had been covered all day in the hospital but now I was wearing my black vest top and they could see my ink that covered my arms. Their eyes went wide initially but decided not to say anything throughout the whole night.

Rosalie and Emmett went to visit Australia to hunt Kangaroo which apparently was delicious. And Carlisle had a friend staying with them this time, his name is Leo whom Carlisle has known a very long time aparently since Jesus lost his sandals long. It was good we talked for almost an hour.

Our conversation was interrupted by a disheveled looking Rachel running into the room completely ignoring the undead people sitting on the couch. She knew about the wolves and everything mostly because she was with me when Victoria came-a-knocking she was amazing at keeping secrets and she knows the short version of what Edward done to me but not that he was a vamp.

"Oh my god...ok so you know the way I only meet assholes and they become like such dicks to me right...so I met this amazing guy I mean seriously he is a cute and smart I mean amazingly attractive in the devastating Romeo kind if way..." I smiled over at Carlisle who were grinning at her in pure amusement.

"Rachel this is Carlisle and Esme...old friends from Forks. This is Rachel you will have to excuse her she is flustered this will only take a second." They nodded and continued to grin at her in fascination, it reminded me of the way people look at monkeys in the zoo.

"Ok I'm sorry...hey...nice to meet you...anyway...where was I? Oh yeah I mean he is not married or engaged, a secret cult person hiding bodies or worshiping Jesus or screwing his secretary, he is not pierced or tattooed in weird places unlike the guys you bring home for a quickie... he doesn't live with his mother, you know how rare of a find that is south of Market Street!" She was excited and barely took a breath the whole way throughout that speech. The ex parental units were looking at me weird mostly because Rachel dropped me deep in it with the whole pierced and tattooed dig at my choice in man.

"Ok I'm wiped see you in the morning...I have a craniotomy I need my sleep...it was very nice to meet you..." She shook Carlisle and Esmes hand before kissing me on the cheek and going into her room.

"Well...she's interesting." I could hear the same strange tone in Esmes voice just the same as Carlisles earlier in the day.

"She has been good to me...she is like family...look it's getting kinda late and baby Wheeler needs surgery tomorrow." I said with a yawn and Esme gave me a hug.

"Of course you need your rest sorry we didn't even think." She gathered her coat and Carlisle helped her with it when she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Bella...I have missed you dearly...I was wondering if we could have lunch tomorrow I could even bring Alice and Rosalie we could make it a girls day...you can bring Rachel I think her and the girls will get along great?"

I could tell she was scared of me rejecting her and I wasn't going to...in all honesty I miss Alice even though i was silently pissed off at her and even Rosalie I missed her too, though she had been frosty I had missed her...she became my family, I love them all but Edward better not come near me, I so want to kick his vampric sparkled ass from here to Timbuktu.

"Yeah that sounds nice...I have missed them a lot...I am in the hospital all day but there is a restaurant I like just across the road...it's like this old diner that hasn't changed since like the 1950's but the food is amazing, how's does 1:30 sound?" She smiled and hugged me again before Carlisle pulled her away and pulled me in for a hug and kissed me on the forehead.

"Bella when we go home Edward will be able to read our minds...we can try and hide it but we will smell like you he will put two and two together..." I decided to cut him off right there.

"Carlisle you can tell him for all I care...I am over him. I am most certainly not the same girl he knows I am not in anyway shape or form the person he thinks I am...as far as Edward Cullen is concerned the most we can hope for in the future is friendship that's it." My outburst seemed to shock them a little and they had a sad twinkle in their eye.

"Ok good night Bella..." Esme said after another hug which I enthusiastically returned.

"Good night Bella...I will see you in the morning." I nod and hug him again before closing the door and heading to my room for what I hope to be a restful night...HA FAT CHANCE OF THAT.

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	9. Chapter 9

_**Alright guys so I am being very enthusiastic about this story so I hope you are just as enthusiastic when reading it...**_

_**So this is Chapter Nine of Addicted please let me know what you think...I hope you are enjoying it...**_

_**Drop me a review or a PM to give your your feedback and thoughts etc**_

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_**Addicted Chapter 9**_

_LISTEN TO JONI MITCHELL-A CASE OF YOU_

_**CarlislePOV**_

As we left Bella and her apartment I felt stressed and quite frankly a little pissed off. What the hell had Edward done to her to make her this cold and unfeeling person. To us she was warm but her reputation in the hospital, everyone thinks she is a cold hearted bitch and isn't afraid to broadcast it...we did this to her we left her and practically turned her to ice. The way she was with those interns in the ER I thought it was her taking charge but they didn't answer her back and they must know not to from her rep.

"Carlisle...we need to get her back...that boy is going to have me to answer to when we get home. What on earth has he done to her? What did he say?" Esme was hurt, angry and confused, as I reach over the console of my Mercedes and grip onto her hand I feel my entire body relax, she has the ability to make my entire body feel like goo, instead of the hard granite that it is.

"We will have her in our lives darling I assure you of that...baby just relax ok...everything is going to work out perfectly ok..." She smiled that wicked smile that makes me weak at the knees and my stomach flutter.

"Have I mentioned how I love it when you call me baby..." She said and kissed me fully just as we were approaching the house, the closer and closer we got the more and more pissed off I felt. I have never felt more angry and nervous in my life. I can't lose Bella a second time so Edward better get his head out of his ass and talk.

"Hey we are home." I said loudly enough so that everyone could hear. Rosalie and Alice came down the stairs with matching grins of mischief and amusement.

"Hey where were you guys away to?" Rose said waggling her eyes at us.

"Did you guys feel the need to leave the house for it because we have been away shopping all day so the house has been empty." We laughed at them and I gently shook my head and hugged my daughters both.

"Where are the boys?" I asked particularely concerned and kept my mind covered incase by reciting Shakespeare in Chinese in my head incase Edward was home.

"Umm Jasper, Emmett and sir-grouch-a-lot went hunting and Leo is upstairs with his music on...he is stressing because he met a girl." Rose said smiling slightly at someone elses pain...lord knows this girl has been through enough pain in her life but she was it wasn't malevolent this amusement she felt I know that there is a good heart within Rosalie I saw that when we left Forks the first time. Rosalie was fighting for us to stay, she didn't want to put Bella through any unneccesary pain if she didn't have to.

"A girl...oh that's wonderful...why is he sulking?" My wife asked with concern etched on her face and I to was curious because in all of the years I had known Leonardo he doesn't sulk.

"The girl is human..." WOW I didn't see that coming. My brother needs me, I really do feel brotherly love for Leo, he helped me a lot in the early years...he is even older than me, in vampire years of course, in human years he looks younger.

"Ok I should go and see if he's ok...can you fill the girls in?" I asked and she nodded her head at me, I kissed her on the forehead and went in search for Leo slighty concered about him, he should talk to Edward about Vampire-human love. But of course he left her after his vampiric brother tried to make her into a snack leaving them both with so much pain and heartbreak so maybe not the best decision. I came up to his door and knocked twice...I heard no response and went into his room...he looked ridiculous. Sad there with earphones in listening to Joni Mitchell, what kind of vampire who has been around since before Henry the eighth listens to Joni Mitchell when they are depressed.

"So...you're hiding?" I said laughing at him, he just nodded. "Come on...what happened?" He filled me in on this girl and I could tell from the way he talked about her that this girl was his mate, I am hoping his story ends better than Edwards did, but I still am holding out hope that Edward and Bellas story is not over.

"What do I do Carlisle?" I have never seen him like this. He is always so together and it is actually scaring me seeing him so fragile, the things that love does to us is crazy.

"Call her...talk to her...get to know her I promise things will work out." He sank even further into the bed and smiled a little and I know I shouldn't be gloating but I am. Over the years Leo has always boasted that he doesn'y have a mate and that people are better off by themselves, ha it's so funny to see the shoe on the other foot.

"What's mystery girls name? What does she do?" I asked and sat beside him smiling at him, no actually I was grinning at him which earned me a smack on the arm I almost fell off the bed.

"Shut up Carlisle..." I just kept laughing at him and he looked so funny lying there pouting in his angst ridden room.

"Well? Who is she? How did you meet? What's her name?" He took in a huge deep breath and smiled like an idiot but I look like that when I look at Esme or am just around her.

"Rachel...she's a doctor." I sat up abruptly at this...no way could it be the fate had an even sicker sense of humour than I thought, there are plenty of Rachels aren't there? Oh this is going to get so interesting. Ha seriously I could write this story and sell it as a novel I could be a millionaire, Edward is going to flip when he finds out about this.

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	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey guys sorry for the few day delay but I have a longer chapter for you if that helps! **_

_**Please keep me going with your reviews and favorites etc...**_

_**So anyone who wants to be my beta give me a shout because my girl is not available due to hospital so I need a new Beta! PM me if you're interested!**_

_**Thoughts are in ITALICS AND BOLD**_

_**OK so I know loads of people wanted me to make all of the Cullens wait for Bella to forgive them but in all honesty how long can you make Emmett the Teddy Bear wait? huh? **_

_**Good you agree so I am defo going to make Eddie beg for her but the Cullens are gonna get a repreaive plus I have a few twists and turns and surprises in my story for you so get ready.**_

_**Luggles! xoxo**_

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_**Addicted Chapter 10 **_

_LISTEN TO STEVIE NICKS-CRYSTAL_

_**EsmePOV **_

As Carlisle walked upstairs the girls looked at me curiously, and we went into the living room and sat down together on the couch.

"So what exactly happened today? Everyone is acting weird." Alice said with a huge smile and held onto my hand as we sat down, these girls are incredible I couldn't ask for better daughters.

"Ok so you can not freak out or react in anyway until I am finished. This is big and it concerns us all..." As I looked at both of them nod their heads I was suddenly stuck, how do I tell them I saw Bella? Do I just tel them rip off the band aid, I should it would be better that way...right?

"Carlisle met Bella today at the hospital..." Alice opened her mouth to speak and I put my hand up to silence her and I saw Rose sit up straighter looking a little bit excited. I know that Rose never meant to give Bella the impression that she hated her.

"She is a doctor there...at the hospital apparently Carlisle said she was a genius and is the youngest fifth year resident he had seen." I took a deep breath as Rosalie took my other hand to which I squeezed tightly.

"We went to see her at her apartment tonight? She is beautiful and has grew up amazingly. We are going to have lunch tomorrow the three of us she can't wait to see you again..." I felt Rosalie tense up but give me a small smile of appreciation.

"I highly doubt that, I was a royal bitch to her." I knew that Rose regretted her behaviour but this the perfect opportunity for her to make it up and I know deep down that they will be friends, they can be.

"Rose...when she heard about lunch she was excited..." I saw her smile at me and get destracted before Alice looked at me almost exploding with excitement.

"So what was she like?" Alice asked completely enthralled as I told her about her apartment and Rachel her room mate and most of all her tattoos. Rosalie looked impressed and proud calling her 'BADASS BELLA' it was probably true but I didn't want to call her that, my family is whole again I can feel it, there will be so much healing done now she is back. I went through they whole story of what happened in her apartment.

"So wait the dog licked you? And you didn't eat it?" Alice asked confused as Rose just laughed hugging me whilst rolling her eyes at Alice's question.

"So are you going to tell Edward?" I heard Alice ask but I never got a chance to answer when I was interrupted and boy did I wish I was in another room right now.

"Tell Edward what?" There he was standing there with Jasper and Emmett flanked at both sides of him. "Why are you reciting Swans Way by Proust Alice? What's going on?" I didn't know how to answer but lucky Carlisle came downstairs just as he said that.

"I can explain Edward. Sit down." He complied but was tense and I was scared of him freaking out completely.

"I saw Bella today...at the hospital?" That was when all hell broke lose.

_**EdwardPOV**_

I was completely gobsmacked, my family seen Bella...I felt a little bit pissed off. I also felt this intense need to punch Carlisle in the face. He showed me in his head all of his day, the bits spent with Bella. She was beautiful...beyond beautiful, she had grew into an absolute Goddess of a woman. Her long mahogany hair reached her hips and she was a doctor, arms covered in tattoos, then he showed me what she said, that she was over me, that she didn't care. My chest hurts...that was like taking a bullet, was it possible for vampires to have stress induced heart attacks.

"Edward...listen to me. No matter what she says I can tell she still loves you...she can act all tough about you but I know that she loves you...but you and I need to talk mister about the way you left her..." Esme had warmth and love in her eyes when she spoke but on the latter part of the conversation she was pissed, probably beyond pissed and both hers and Carlisles expressions were mirrored on one another so it was very scary.

"What happened the day you left her Edward?" I was confused, he hadn't asked me that when I left her he didn't ask questions about it, they both let me wallow in self pity, and he is asking me about it so Bella obviously didn't tell them.

"What do you mean?" I decided to play dumb because subconsciously I knew he would kick my ass from here to next Tuesday if he knew the truth. This moment is one for the books I mean seriously, their face is the epitome of dissapointment and pissed off so right now would not be the best time to rub them the wrong way.

"Where did you leave her? What did you say to her?" Carlisle was really pissed off when Esme said this and all of my siblings who had just been spectators had decided to pipe in.

"Ok can someone tell me what's going on because I'm confused." Emmett who is ever the graceful said while slapping me on the back with a grimace and an 'oh no you didn't' look plastered all over his face.

"You were born confused..." Jasper smiled at him just as Alice slapped him on the arm followed by Rose and I could hear them all in my head.

_**WHAT HAS SAINT EDWARD DONE NOW-**_Rosalie acknowledged with a quick roll of the eyes and glare.

_**DUDE YOU IN TROUBBLLLLEEE WITH THE PARENTALS!-**_Emmett ever so discrete.

_**EDWARD YOU ARE IN SUCH MAJOR TROUBLE!-**_Alice was pissed off and I really didn't want to irritate the pixie and further that what I had.

"Bella told us some stories..." Esme said glaring her full laser like eyes at me and in that moment I felt guilt wash over me, Bella was like a daughter to her and now she is back in her life I could tell Esme thought I was going to run off again but that was not the case...I think.

"You saw Bella? How was she? Is she ok? Did she ask about me?" In that moment Emmett bore a striking resemblance to Alice just as he bounced up and down on the spot likehe was ready to implode with excitement.

"She is a doctor in the hospital...OBGYN and Paediatric Fellow and she is amazing." Carlisle spoke with a huge smile on his face.

_**GOD I AM SO PROUD OF HER I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE BECAME A DOCTOR-**_Carlisle is filled with pride as he relayed all of his interactions with her throughout the day and god I was impressed.

**_SHE LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL IF NOT A LITTLE TOO SKINNY...NEED TO GET SOME FOOD FOR HER_**-Esme was proud also and I knew that gived the chance Bella will never have to cook a meal herself ever again. I decided to block out my families thoughts before I could hear any more on her.

"Edward...so look I am only going to ask you once more ok. Where did you leave Bella? What did you say to her?" I was momentarily scared and worried that they will not forgive me for this, I screwed up period there is no excuses.

"I made...uhmm...I made an error in judgement. I told her I didn't want her. I took her into the woods." Everyone in the room gasped in shock and horror. Alice punched me in the arm, Rosalie and Esme smacked me on the back of the head one after the other.

"How could you do that Edward? Do you have any idea what she has been through?" I felt my shame and embarrassment as Carlisle screamed at me. I have never seen him so unhinged he looked like he was gonna kill me.

Carlisle was known as the cool cat, the one who we all go to without fear, and he was always the calmest person I had ever met as both a human and vampire. Seeing talk about Bella in that way was so foreign to me. They were all staring at me with disgust and anger on their face then I felt it, Emmett punched me right in the jaw causing me to land face first on the floor.

"Yo what's going on?" We were interrupted by Leo coming in looking confused. I didn't even look at anyone and just ran out the door vaguely hearing Leo ask why Emmett punched me, I just kept running and running till I hit the ocean, what the hell am I going to do?

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	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11  
**_  
_LISTEN TO GOO GOO DOLLS-IRIS_

_**BellaPOV**_

As I woke the next morning with a headache I felt a little bit off kilter. I was supposed to go to lunch with the Cullen Women and tell them the story of my life why the hell had I agreed to this? I mean at the time I felt sort of happy and that is quite rare but spending the day with Alice the Tinkerbell wannabee and Rose the Model who makes your confidence take a knock just being in the vicinity. How am I supposed to do this sober?

"Yo Bitch move your ass we gotta go!" Rachel of course ever so eloquently hollered at me through the door. As I stood up and stretched I felt like maybe this day will suck so much I mean really really badly suck.

"Bella get your ass outta bed!" That girl will not give up she is like the energizer bunny in the morning and barely sleeps how does she do it?

"I am already up you sleep Nazi!" I brushed my teeth and threw my hair up in a messy ponytail I also threw on my bad ass jeans the ones that made my ass look incredible and a White vest tee and long sleeve black top. I could literally inhale the coffee and lucky me, my best bitch had it in my cup and ready to go.

"I need to leave now Bella I have surgery this morning." She handed me my bag and coffee as we walked out of the apartment. She waffled on about her patient the whole ride to the hospital and I was so in my head that I let her because truth be told I wasn't even listening. Once we arrived we went out separate ways and I went to change into my scrubs to check on baby Wheeler from yesterday.

The NICU always depresses me and I always just feel sad every time I cross the threshold and see all of these parents needing comforted I always tend to try and avoid it as much as possible.

"Mrs Wheeler. Good morning how are you?" My patient was sitting in a wheelchair and the man who I am assuming is her husband and he currently one hand outstretched to me.

"Dr Swan...thank you so much for taking such good care of Catherine." I smiled and waved my hand at him in a whatever motion.

"It's my job Mr Wheeler." As they looked at their baby I felt a small pang in my chest. In all honesty this baby is not doing too good. She is underweight her lungs are under developed and she just had heart surgery all in all not a good combo.

"Catherine do you have a name?" I wanted to ask before going through the seriousness of their Childs health.

"Yeah we did...Ella Louise Wheeler." I smiled at them and that really was a beautiful name and she was a beyond beautiful baby.

"That's a good name...Ella is recovering well from her surgery yesterday as you know we have had some complications but she is strong and a fighter." The worry lines and lack of sleep were evident on their faces and this is one part of the job that I hate.

"I am going to take Ella for surgery today later this afternoon on her kidneys and we are going to go from there ok." They both smiled and me and I left them alone for a while with their daughter. Before I knew it it was lunchtime, I filled in charts and sat watching the nurses flirt with Carlisle shamelessly as he tried to get out of their clutches and he was failing really bad.

"Do you think we should save him?" I turned around and saw Esme with a wide grin staring at her husband I hugged her and smiled back.

"Let him sweat for a while." We both looked at him as he glared daggers at me and Esme and mouthed help. It was then I heard a timid voice emanate from behind me. "Bella..." That was all it took that one little voice to make my knees weak as I turned around and felt my entire body shake. There she was my best friend who I had missed so much. I told myself to be strong and resist because I should hate her for leaving the way she did but all I felt was love for her. She was my best friend and she left yes but that wasn't her fault, I felt really sad and needed to hug her.

"Alice...agh I missed you." I screeched into her ear as I threw my arms around her neck and just breathed in that clear Alice scent, as I heard a slight clearing of someones throat and there she stood still looking like a model.

"Hello Bella...it's good to see you again." She was actually sporting a smile and it looked sincere not a look I was used to on her.

"You too Rosalie." She gave me a small hug and colour me shocked I just stood there unmoving for about a minute trying to understand who this stranger is. The Old Rosalie couldn't even stand to be in the same room as me let alone hug me...had she undergone a personality transplant?

"So who is ready for lunch?" Esme asked with a small smile at me and held onto my shoulder.

"Maybe you should save Carlisle first?" I suggested and she smiled and walked over to her husband with the 'honey your in trouble' face on, meanwhile leaving me alone with the model and Tinkerbell, god I am in such major trouble here.

_**EsmePov **_

I walked over to my husband who was literally backed into a corner by these four blonde bimbos if the cup size is any indicator I mean seriously who were theses women trying to kid.

"Hi honey having fun?" I said loudly enough so the three women turned around with shocked looks on their faces.

"Hi I'm Julie who are you?" The balls of this child I should eat her based on principle I mean the audacity of her is shocking.

"I'm his wife and if you wanna take your hand off my husband in the next five seconds I might leave your nose the way it is, although I think if I break it it might look better." I smiled at her which earned me a dirty look like we were in Junior High...I am secretly loving this. Three of the girls backed off and walked away but apparently this Julia or Julie or whatever the bitches name was decided to stay latched onto Carlisle like a leach, an attachment that he is going to have to make up to me.

"I think your husband can tell who he does or doesn't talk to...don't you." And she smirked, see it was the smirk that I wanted to wipe off her face, I honestly don't know what came over me but I vaguely recall my hand coming up and connecting with her face not hard obviously but hard enough to make something go crack but not hard enough to put her right through the wall but what happened next surprised me.

Rosalie, Alice and Bella were flanked at my sides and Carlisle stood behind me at this point obviously too chickenshit to deal with this thing, it was the same thing in every town. There is always some chickadee who latches on to my husband and I always have to act the wife card although this is a first I have never had to slap one of the bitches before again I am getting a secred thrill out of it.

"Ok let's just calm down ok."Carlisle said with that calm and composed tone of his that I also wanted to slap outta him and I just turned my glare onto him

"Oh I'm calm...believe me I'm calm." I said and Bella looked at the skanky nurse.

"The man is married leave him alone ok...I have told you stay clear he quite obviously doesn't want to be with a walking STD capiche." She said and pushed her sleeves up showing off her tattoos.

"You don't scare me bitch I could throw your ass down do you understand." Bella smiled at her and took a step closer to her invading her space.

"I highly doubt that...next time why don't you find a single man next time." As she walked away from her the nurse grabbed her hair and pulled it down hard.

"MIND YOUR BUSINESS NEXT TIME DOC..." OK this is not good, Bellas eyes were full of fury and I could tell Alice and Rose were ready to bounce the skank before Bella turned looking a little bit crazy.

"THESE ARE NOT EXTENSIONS BITCH!" My heart grew twice the size with pride at Bella and she punched the nurse onto the floor.

"You crazy slut! She is a psycho" As Bella walked away that's all the nurse kept shouting over and I think she said something about her nose being broke. That was probably the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.

"Oh my god Bella..." I saw genuine pride from Rosalie and I think she prefers this version of Bella "That was awesome..." Both of my daughters smiled at Bella as we walked out toward the door chatting to her as they went.

"Have a good lunch dear." My husband said with a smile and a kiss for me.

"Don't you dear me Dr Cullen...you need to make this up to me with a lot of sex! A lot of sex...ok that bitch better not be anywhere near you when I come by to visit." He looked a little shocked at my outburst but he is a man so he had a small flicker of Excitement.

"Yes dear..." He gave me a long and deep kiss which caused the currently shrieking nurse to huff a little as I walked off toward the girls.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

_Damien Rice-9 Crimes_

**BellaPOV**

We walked away from the attention seeking bitch but we were still close enough to Carlisle and Esme to hear their conversation and might I say go Esme for suggesting sex as a make up present I was impressed where as Alice and Rose just looked a little wigged out.

"Oh my god Bella I loved that!" Alice smiled and hooked her arms around my arm momentarily forgetting that their alternate vampire parents were one dirty look away from having Sex in the middle of the hospital Reception, although I for one think it would be better and more exciting that way.

"These are not extensions bitch! Bam skank went down! It was classic." Alice said and re enacted it pretending to hit Rose. As the girls laughed at me I saw the most passionate kiss ever. Esme and Carlisle were locked in a passionate embrace that made even me blush a little.

"Looks like Mama and Papa C are getting laid tonight." I said with an accent that made me sound like I was from New Orleans or Kentucky or somewhere else that's southern. I couldn't help but smile as the expressions currently protruding upon Alice and Rosalies face it was pure disgust and revulsion.

"Bella...please I may have had to hear them doing them doing it sometimes vaguely over the past few years but I do not want the visual that goes with it." I had never really got to know Rosalie when she lived in Forks but I could tell she and I were going to get along great.

"Ok girls let's go." Esme was the epitome of perfection as we walked all the while me teasing her about that kiss.

"...earth shattering and it would have probably made a sailor blush...Papa C is probably going to be walking around with blue balls for the rest of the day..." I was cut off by Rose and Alice cackling beside me as I threaded my arms through Esme's.

"Deserves him right he should have nipped that in the bud as soon as it started." I could tell she was annoyed by this and I'm assuming because Carlisle is hot that she has to do this a lot.

"Esme I am gonna tell you straight ok because I don't believe in Pussy footing around things ok...Carlisle is like this Blonde, doctor, sex god on a stick ok..." I was cut off by the two younger Cullens screaming in my ear.

"BELLA!" I could just laugh at them...I am currently making Vampires uncomfortable it was so funny.

"What it's true! Esme you only have to look at him to know he is a God in bed!" Again I seemed to be completely grossing the girls out.

"I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THIS BELLA!" Ever since they left I had my verbal filter completely removed and sometimes it good...but this conversation is hilarious.

"I am merely making a point the the blondeness, the doctor thing and the sex god thing are three things women will notice about a man, he is so desirable to everyone, well except me because he's like a father to me and that's like incest but my point is...where ever you go he is going to be a desirable stud...but he is your desirable stud."

The three of them looked contemplative for a second and I knew that they were all thinking about their husbands because let's face it they are all studs.

It took us another few minutes before we arrived at the diner. I love this place, it's the kinda place you would see in a movie from the 50's with burgers and shakes and stuff I love it, the closer I got to the counter the more I loved it.

"Hey what can I get you?" This overly chipper cashier comes over to us with a smile and a poodle skirt.

"Umm I will have a large cheese burger with large fries and side of onion rings with a large chocolate milkshake please." I ordered and she took one look at me, it ls true I have lost weight since Forks but I have curves and my boobs are bigger too. Anyway one look at me she looked envious at me and I love that.

"What about you guys?" She asked my vampire chaperones who politely declined claiming to have already eaten. A lot of jokes regarding blood snuck into my brain.

"Ok I will bring it over to you take a seat please." I looked and the place was not overly busy so I piled my table that I always sit at. Their facial expressions said it all this was not going to be a fun conversation.

AlicePOV 

We all decided not to scare Bella right off the bat with the heavy topics so we small talked for a while. I initially thought she was going to ignore me or be mad at me and I would expect that, but we just picked up where we left off, I had a feeling that Edward would not be just as lucky.

"I thought that waitress was gonna lean over the counter and clobber you with her bare hands." I could see Rose was so relaxed around Bella it was refreshing to see her not to wound up all the time like the way she used to.

"They all usually look like that...I half expect them to poison my food." I had seen so many changes in Bella since we left, she was skinny like Kate Moss skinny but she had these beautiful curves and amazing boobs I would kill for those boobs seriously and she is eating enough food that could feed a horse that's not normal I almost want to hit her.

"You are probably the envy of all the women in America Bella...how much food you eat and not gain weight I mean seriously the government should take you and test you for genetic mutations." Rosalie said with this huge smile on her face.

"Please Rosalie are you kidding I would kill for your ass I mean seriously...to have an ass like that no amount of Pilates or Yoga would give me that ass seriously." I felt good sitting here like normal women having lunch I almost felt human. As they kept talking my phone vibrated in my pocket.

**HEY DARLIN I MISS YOU! GIVE BELLA A HUG FOR ME AND EMMETT WILL YA PLEASE AND TELL HER WE WANNA SEE HER SOON! I WANNA APOLOGISE TO HER PLEASE! I LOVE YOU xoxo PS TELL ROSALIE HER MONKEY MISSES HER...THATS FROM EMMETT BTW xoxo **

I smiled at Rosalie and showed her the message causing her to laugh prompting the other two to get curious.

"MONKEY!" Bella was pushing herself laughing at that while I'm sure if Vampires could blush Rose would be ten different shades of red.

"I need to find out that monkey story!" She said just as food arrived for her, the same waitress who was furious and as I looked around many of them had that same look on their faces and drew daggers at her.

"Ok so in all honesty the boys miss you...Emmett wants to see his babybel and Jasper just wants to apologise to you." As I said this to her I thought she was gonna give herself whiplash with the speed at which she lifted her head to me.

"I never blamed him Alice...Jasper has this gift ok and it sucks because he struggles with his lust for blood but that say I was thrown across action ok the paper cut was bad but he had his struggle plus all of yours." She had grown into a wise woman and I had never thought about it that way but it made sense.

"I never blamed him make sure he knows that..." We were cut off by the ringing of her phone.

"I'm sorry it's my mom just a second." She knew that we would be able to hear her conversation so she just answered at the table and proceeded to eat her food.

"Hey mom." I had only met her mother very briefly after Bella had the accident with James in Phoenix she was a very strange woman...fascinating to me.

"Hey baby how are you?" I could tell their relationship was good and healthy. After making small talk with her I could tell something was wrong, her mom sounded very different.

"So...how is my little sister doing?" That floored me right there. Sister? What the hell when did that happen?

"She is good...Kindergarten is fun apparently but she misses you. Skype and phone calls are not enough." I heard Bella laugh at that and nod her head but dodged the question none the less.

"What about your treatment is it going well?" All of our ears pricked up at this and was worried...treatments?

"So so you know...Chemotherapy isn't all it's cracked up to be but I'm good only two more rounds to go." They were talking very animatedly for the next few minutes.

"So I was talking to your dad the other day and I invited him and Sue and of course the kids down here for Thanksgiving, will you make it down?" Esme, Rose and I tried to busy ourselves with our own conversation but I had to know more I was riveted.

"I don't know mom I should do but please remind Phil ok, no beer or wine or anything this year ok?" Bella was legal drinking age and I could tell by the way that Esme looked at her shoes she knew more than she was letting on. I have to get to the bottom of this.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Addicted Chapter 13**_

_Led Zeppelin-Babe I'm gonna leave you_

I could see the gears turning in their heads as I said this to mom but I need to let them know.

"Listen mom I gotta go ok...but my shift ends at six so barring any complications or surgeries I will call you ok?" I tried to avoid looking directly at Alice as I'm sure I would sadness and guilt in her eyes. They are three smart women who will deduce what's happened but will tell them.

"Ok baby I love you give Rachel a hug for me ok?" I agreed and hung up ready to face the music. As I flagged down a waitress ironically the same one as before who took one look at all of my clear plates and gave me a look that would kill.

"Hi can I get a cup of regular coffee to go please." She took away my plates and nodded.

"So I know you are all wondering hat happened when I left." I stated and they all began shaking their heads and disputing the fact.

"Why no alcohol?" I was silently glad Rose had enough balls to bring it up because I couldn't...I actually couldn't.

"I used a little problem with certain refreshments and pharmaceuticals I want to tell you all the full story together rather than telling it tw..." I was cut off by my pager going off. CRAP Baby Wheeler.

"Ok I'm sorry I have to go...emergency..." As I took out money Esme had a $20 bill lifted out and set down just as they came back with my coffee. I thanked her and hugged them all before running across the street without my coffee.

This I was not looking forward to. Why is this baby having so many problems. As I walked into the NICU I saw a furry of activity around the baby and Carlisle in the middle.

"What's happening?" I asked with that bitchy doctor tone everyone was accustom to.

"Baby is not in good shape...um she was seizing and I think her kidneys are shutting down. We got her stabilised but she need the OR now." I started unhooking monitors as Carlisle was talking.

"Ok people let's move ok I need Rachel ok someone page Dr Adams please." I said and started walking toward the OR with a very sick baby. Playing and Hoping that this baby will be ok.

"Hey you ok?" Carlisle was making small talk with me in the elevator something is wrong.

"Good you?" I decided to indulge for a second cause I could see it coming.

"Good...umm...do you wanna...come and have dinner with Esme and the kids? Dinner is for you obviously but it would be dinner at our house." I loved making men stutter and making a vampire stutter was even more satisfying it was like so much fun almost as much as making your boyfriend cry, and I am a sick individual.

"Sure I guess...have to see Edward sometime right." He looked up at me sharply as I realised he never even thought about that.

"If you don't want to that's fine to you know we could go out." I just shrugged at him in a sort of whatever motion...if I had to see him them I suppose I shouldn't put it off.

"No...I mean if I'm gonna be a part of your lives again then I have to get it over with, right?" He smiles at me at touches the top of my arm.

"Bella...I am so proud of you...I don't think I couldn't be...I...you have turned into an exceptional young woman Bella." I hugged him fiercely and in that moment I was so glad that we were alone in that moment.

"Thank you..." I was interrupted by us arriving on the OR floor. And that was when I reverted back again. It took us six hours to fix the baby's kidneys but she needed a transplant and I don't know if he can get them.

The whole day depressed me, first of all the baby and then a sly Peads fellow stole my surgery and flaunted in my face at any time and then I got another consult in the ER so at the end of it I was not getting changed out of my scrubs until almost ten.

I felt like crap and looked like crap, so of course I only agreed to have dinner with the vampire ex who will quite possibly look incredible.

"Hey Dr Swan, this was left for you." The young nurse that I found was nice from earlier handed me a piece of paper with Carlisle number on it and a short anecdote at the bottom.

BELLA HEARD YOU GOT CAUGHT UP I CAN PICK U UP WHEN U R FINISHED CALL 555-4567 xoxo

"Thank you." She smiled and walked out of the room as I rang the number.

"Hello..." I wanted to play a little but I sure Esme would not appreciate my sailor sex line jokes.

"Hey Carlisle it's Bella." He sounded almost out of breath and I could hear giggling and the smacking of lips.

"Oh Bella hey...you finally finished?" Either Papa C was getting a hickey or he was moaning at her hand Down his pants, go Esme for making the whole who wears the trousers question completely obsolete.

"Apparently you're not." I laughed down the phone at him hoping he wouldn't be mad at me for bringing up his current activities.

"I do not know what you are talking about." In all of the noises I could hear in the background at the moment I'm surprised he could still speak properly.

"Ok well I'm gonna head home and take a shower." As I packed my things into my bag including my dirty scrubs to be washed I instantly wish I could click my heels together and be home.

"Alice, Rose and the boys are on their way over to you as we speak."

"You mean as you make out..." Wait did he say boys as in all of them? Oh no I am so screwed I look like shit.

"Bella...what I do in the confines of my home with my wife are none of your business." As he said that all of my mommy and daddy sex jokes were put to the side for now.

"Ok well I will see you and Esme later on." I was doing a jig in my head with the prospect of getting a shower but at the thought of seeing Edward I wanted to punch him in the face.

"Bella its late we don't have to come over tonight." I almost took him up on that offer because in all honesty I wanted to sleep and shower and maybe perhaps watch a ridiculous movie on tv, but I have missed Emmett and Jasper. After saying no and letting them come on ahead I felt rather annoyed, how the hell am I going to do?

EdwardPOV

When Carlisle arrived home from the hospital and announced that we were going to her apartment to catch up if it was possible my heart leapt into my chest as I sat alone in my room upstairs.

What was I going to say to her? I abandoned her and left her to her own defences...what do you say to that? How do I apologise?

"Bye mom we're going to get Bella at the hospital." I wasn't even sure what happened but I leapt up and ran downstairs quicker that normal.

"I'm coming." All of my siblings looked at me with a yeah right expression plastered on their faces.

"Edward...I don't know if that's a good idea." I was determined and Jasper knew that as he placed his hand on Alices shoulder.

"I have to see her Alice..." I gave her my best moping look that always used to work with her before I met Bella. If they were talking about a subject I wasn't comfortable with that look stopped it in it's tracks.

"So just wait till we go over later." Rosalie rolled her eyes at me and showed me her mental images of herself hugging Bella and all I could think of is what's wrong with this picture?

I could hear Carlisle and Esme going at it in his study and in all honesty I was not staying in this house whether I had to hurt someone I am not staying to listen to Esme and Carlisle have sex like Rabbits in the house.

"The car is five seats, where do you suppose we put Bella in the trunk?" Cue eye roll from Rosalie to go along with that sarcastic comment.

"She can sit on my knee...I don't mind." Emmett of course with his ridiculousness grinned and waggled his eyebrows at us.

"I vote Edward goes in the trunk." The Ice Queen is on a roll tonight I could tell that she was being serious about that, Alice just told us that she and I would meet them at Bella's house a little later. I was confused...so was Jasper not to mention he was nervous about being apart from her.

"What time will you be picking her up?" I could not do anything right tonight if Rosalies scoff was anything to go by.

"We are picking her up in 20 minutes and then probably pick stuff up to make her dinner and then Esme and Carlisle there later." Rose said and jumped into the car without another word and the others followed suit, Jasper was a little bit reluctant but eventually got in.

"We can pick up Bellas food and meet you there ok?"

"Ok so why exactly did you volunteer to be my baby sitter?" As she huffed over to her car and slid in without a word I took that to be that I had to follow her.

"Edward...I had a vision and we need to talk." I was curious at this and she was blocking her thoughts by recurring poetry in Latin.

"Ok so what exactly is this vision..." I laughed at her which proceeded a slap on the arm.

"You approached Bella the wrong way she threw food at you and got into a huge fight ok...she hates you Edward...well she hates you on the surface but all those feelings she had are hidden somewhere but the only thing is finding them." I have never been good with girls and being with Bella then was confusing enough now she is completely different.

"Ok we will go and get things for Bella ok...food and stuff let her got home and reacclimatised with Em and Jazz and then we will pick up Chinese food and take it to her." I felt silently cheated but went along with her anyway because she wasn't going to back down until I did.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Addicted Chapter 14**_

_Listen to Florence and the Machiene-Seven Devils_

_**BellaPOV **_

After changing I sat in the lobby with the research and wanted to read over new stats I was given. My mom had Breast Cancer and I had been researching the possibilities of a clinical trial. I took it hard when mom got sick and went to Florida for a month but then threw myself into my work and threw together this proposal for the FDA and I have worked on in for the past year with Rachel helping me.

"So this is what doctors do? Looks boring!" As I turned around and saw Emmett there looking even bigger that what I remember.

"EMMETT!" I ran and jumped into his arms and hugged him as tight as I could but obviously he had the same idea because I could barely breathe.

"Bellabear I missed you!" He was like this excited kid on Christmas morning waiting to see if Santa had came.

"Missed you to Em..." We were cut off by that sweet Texan Southern Drawl I missed so much.

"Emmett let up she's turning purple your squeezing her to death." The wilderbeast set me down and I hugged Jasper tightly.

"Jasper I am so sorry...I didn't blame you for anything and I didn't..." He set me down and stopped me before I continued any further.

"Bella you have nothing to apologise for...I should apologise..." He looked so guilty and we proceeded to apologise for another few minutes before Rosalie was bored and wanted to go to the car. I packed up my research and set off for the Cullen Mobile.

"So where is Tinkerbell?" Jasper laughed at my new nickname for his wife.

"She is meeting us at your apartment." Ok well that was vague knowing that no good can come from any more questions I refrained from asking any as we approached this beautiful Car.

"Hey I call shotgun..." After a few mumbles and moans came from the boys they jumped in the back seat as Rose got in the driver seat and I got in passenger and set off toward my apartment.

"Alice just text Bella what do you want for dinner?" I had a weird craving for Chinese all day.

"Get me the Meal Deal 6 from Wu Shu China on Elm Street please." I am starving, literally I have not had anythig substantial all day.

"So Bells you're a hot doc now how the hell did that happen?" Emmett always so eloquently said with a grin on his face that would rival the Cheshire Cat.

"Well when you left I kinda threw myself into school and skipped a couple of steps here and there." I withheld a few details and will tell them later tonight when Esme and Carlisle are there.

"Well at least you did something...Edward holed himself up in a cave depressed and not eating." Apparently I was not supposed to know this due to Rose smacking him so hard he actually was uprooted from the seat. Ok now I was pissed off...he left me not the other way around! God I get so angry when I think of him.

"Hey I need Soda can you stop this banana wagon at Walmart please." At this Jaspers phone tingled.

"Alice has you covered." That little Tink always one step ahead damn she is like my own personal Psychic Network it amazing.

"Alright then we are nearly there just round this corner." As we rounded the corner I saw Rachel was not home wonder how long her Soul Mate lasted if he is still on the go.

"Here we are..." God that bitch I hate that blonde skank she always looks so amazing, as she caught me staring I got the stink eye.

"What are you looking at Swan?" I can scrap like a rabid dog but I think a vampire is beyond my capabilities but that was fighting talk.

"You...god I hate you, god your gorgeous I don't know how you get out of the house..." As we walked into my apartment and I took my coat of and continued my rant.

"You are like eight feet tall look at those legs...your boobs are perfect and if I were you I would walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job or skills or anything I would just be naked..." They all laughed at me as I put their coats away.

"How does Emmett let you out of the house I would just have sex with you all the time...I would totally have sex with you by the way if you get tired f men? It's an option!" Emmett is going to need a forklift to raise his jaw off the floor again. And Rose just laughed.

"Ok I need a favour...can you do that later with Edward in the room..." That comment caused my whole body to freeze. I had forgot he was coming. God if I hit him in the face would I get hurt or just my pan?

"Sure but I am being dead serious...I'm always up for a threessome...Em you in?" He was like a doggy on a dashboard with his head bobbing up and down. She winked at me and I felt rather proud of myself that I could quite possibly bed the hottest female in the world! Go me! We were broke apart by the doorbell and Jasper whirled over at his vampy mojo speed and threw the door opened and there he was...the most beautiful man I the world...I had it all in my head...Ignore and turn down it's a good system. I AM SO SCREWED.

EdwardPOV

As we pulled up to Bella's apartment I was getting really annoyed. Since leaving the grocery store I had been arguing with Alice.

"She will not eat all of that food Alice. One human can not consume that much." She shook her head and looked me dead in the eye.

"Edward...she has a room mate and they're doctors when do you think she has time to shop?" I think Alice cleared out Walmart. Six different types of Soda, bags and bags of Junk food and of course don't get me started on her Chinese food.

That preset meal on the menu could feed ten. It had mu Shu pork, Chilli Garlic Chicken, two different kinds of rice, noodles with some other stuff in it...and another bag full of things that I wasn't even going to get into.

"She needs food and I am helping her out and I'm doing it as a favour for Esme so shut up!" She was smiling and I could tell from her thoughts that she missed Bella. I mean we all missed her but she was close to Bella before we left.

"Edward let's go!" She grabbed the Chinese food and a few bags from the trunk obviously expecting me to get the rest. "Lock the car Ed...keys are in it..." Only my sister would leave the keys in the ignition of a £120,000 dollar car.

I scooped up the remaining bags and locked the car door before making my way up to her apartment, as I walked closer and closer her scent was getting to be somewhat overwhelming. I missed that sweet freesia smell and somehow there was also a hint of watermelon and I'm guessing that is the roommates scent.

"God Alice this is brilliant! I don't have to go grocery shopping tomorrow." As I stood in the doorway of her apartment that's when I saw her, she was even more beautiful that I remember well the back of her was because that's all I could see at this particular moment.

Her hair was wet from what I am assuming a shower. She had on this pair of bright red track shorts that had lifeguard printed on the ass of them and sat just below the cheeks. Her smooth long legs and her bare feet painted red and I could see a tattoo on her foot then she turned to look at me because apparently my family were smiling at the door and my mouth hanging on the floor.

The front was even better than the front, tattoos were covering most of her arms and shoulders, god she looked amazing, that little heart shaped face and her gorgeous pools of brown. She was wearing a black fitted tank top and it showed off her skinny waist but she had grown into a beautiful woman. I realise I hadn't said anything yet just peeved on her like a lecherous old man.

"Bella...you look amazing." Obviously that was a bad opener and walked into the living room toward the boxes of Chinese food sitting in the coffee table. I walked over to the kitchen and set all the freezer and fridge things away and walked in to join my siblings in the living room which felt like the arctic circle at this point...she really hates me, how on earth do I fix this? Someone help me!


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hey hey hey party people ok...so I am completely overwhelmed with the response I am getting for my fic I love you all so much!**_

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* * *

_**Addicted Chapter 15**_

_Listen to Imogen Heap-Speeding Cars  
_  
_**BellaPOV **_

When I saw him stand at the door my heart skipped a beat before I put my poker face on and huffed away after his opening line failed epically I mean what was he expecting, for me to fall at his feet...no I don't operate that way no matter how hot the guy was.

"Bella how do you eat so much and stay so skinny?" Alice took one look at me and another at the food mountain of Chinese in front of me in shock and awe.

"Magic my friend!" All conversation came to an abrupt halt once Edward came into the room I chose strategically to sit between Rosalie and Emmett for a reason. It took me about forty five minutes to eat three quarters of the Chinese that they bought me with all of us casually chatting along. Edward put his two cents in when required but of course I just ignored him, or scoffed at everything he said and then every now and again I glarted which automatically shut him up and luckily the door bell rang to prevent me from scoffing some more.

I know I was being childish but I need to stay away from him...I am scared I will either punch him...hard and it would be harder to explain every bone in my hand being broken that him not even flinching at my fist connecting with his face, I am scared of downing a bottle of Tequila which is what I really want right now.

"Bella...so sorry we are late. We got a little caught up." I laughed at them and all sorts of dirty scenarios were floating along in my head and Jasper must have senses it because his ears and lips pricked up as I laughed.

"Don't you mean tied up Esme? So papa C show me your handcuff marks." I smiled at them both and I swear Carlisle looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.

"Very funny Bella..." Emmett high fives me and we sat arguing over Carlisles preference of Handcuffs or Rope and no one could get a definitive answer, the parental units and Edward looked mortified whereas the sexually experienced children members of this family were laughing so hard I was sure they would be crying if they were human.

"I need Ice Cream!" The was about go get up when Alice let out an almighty shriek that you could probably hear on mars.

"WHAT!" I swear I think I'm deaf! What the hell?

"Alice what the fu..." I was cut off by Esmes disapproving look that is currently plastered on her face. In this moment I would rather swear in church wuth the Priest and the Pope there than in front of Mama C.

"How on earth do you eat so much and stay a size two Bella?" I laughed at her and made a mental note to invite her over for a movie night with Rachel and I. The amount of food we consume is unreal and everyone hates us for it, including my mother.

"I'm getting my second wind now. It's time for Ice Cream" All of the women looked rather worried but all of the men were rather impressed.

In the time it took me to eat a tub of Ben and Jerry's Cookie dough we had went over subjects of Parents and moms cancer and then Alice found mine and Rachel's condom cookie jar and all hell broke loose.

"So little virgin Mary is a virgin no more...when did this happen?" As Rosalie asked me this Carlisle looked uncomfortable but Esme looked interested like my mother did after I tell her my sexcapades.

"Please it was gone a long time ago." I was being vague because in a way I wanted to avoid Edward feeling uncomfortable. No wait that asshole left me in the woods so his comfort level is something I don't care about.

"With who?" Alice in this particular moment reminded me of Tinkerbell on Acid I mean seriously how much more can she bounce.

"A friend of mine Jacob Black." I saw Edwards face was the epitome of rage and disgust and I couldn't help but do I little internal woohoo and haha at him.

"Black...Epheram Blacks grandson?" I smiled and nodded but a bunch of worried glances were shared around the room.

"Bella...how much do you know about Jacob?" Edward decided to add his vague question as if I don't know my best friend.

"Everything..." I decided on the open ended sentence to allow the to digest the fact that I slept with a werewolf.

"Wait...Everything?" Carlisle reminded me of a cartoon character, if he were a cartoon character then I'm sure he would have steam coming out of his ears.

"BELLA! HOW EXACTLY COULD YOU BE SO WRECKLESS?" I could tell Edward was only voicing what Carlisle was thinking at this very moment.

"Stay out of this Eddie it had nothing to do with you!" I remembered he hates that name and he looked rather pissed off right about now and he stood up and glared right at me.

"If I recall Bella I asked you not to do anything stupid and what do you do sleep with werewolves!" I stood up too and we were standing with just a coffee table between us this is not going to be good.

"If my memory serves me right you took me into the woods, told me I was never going to be good enough for your precious vampire self and dumped me...not before expressing your clear desire for me not do anything reckless and it was one shape-shifter not a werewolf! Not a whole group ok I am not a pack whore Edward!" I am seething, all of the glass in this house I wished I could hit him with as I walked into the kitchen and I wasn't going to let him chime in any time soon. I took a glass out of the cupboard to pour some water into it.

"You left me Eddie not the other way around, now I coped in the way I know how...I had a lot of sex...took a lot of drugs and drank so much that I wrapped my fathers car around a pole!" my screaming rant was interrupted my several members of the family screaming what in my face.

"What do you mean? What happened?" Rose and Emmett were distraught at that and I thought Alice was sobbing in the corner and was being comforted by Jasper.

"Bella..." This asshole keeps interrupting me and as I set the glass down on the counter he came up to me almost looked like he wanted to hug me.

"Don't Edward! Who I screw is none of your business anymore! My sex life is no concern of yours ok...I'm over you..." I picked up the glass and took a sip. Me glared at me and put his hand on my arm.

"I just care about you Bella...let me in." Ok now I'm pissed, I don't know what was happening one minute I had a glass of water in my hand the next I smashed the glass into the side of his head causing it to smash into smithereens on my hard wood floors.

"WOW! Bella calm down!" Emmett casually lifted me onto his shoulder which internally I was grateful for due to the fact I was not wearing any shoes and the glass was all over my hard tile floor.

"Rewind please...you totalled your fathers car?" Emmett sounded proud when he asked that why does that not bother me? I let put a sigh as Edward stood a good distance away on the window seat as far away from me as possible.

"I had done a line of coke and was drunk off my ass and decided I wanted to go for a ride, one minute I was driving along and the next I'm in a hospital with a doctor telling me that not only did I loose a baby that I never knew I had but I also lost the ability to have anymore! I slept with Jake a few weeks before it happened and apparently I was pregnant, Ididn't know so I guess I was grateful for that." I was Emotionless now as I retold the story considering a second ago I was screaming in Edwards face and hitting him with kitchenware.

"Bella..." Rosalie came over and gave me a hug and broke down in my arms and whispered how sorry she was that this happened to me and hugged me really tight so tight in fact I don't think I can breathe, I continued hugging her but I need to get out of this room before I collapse.

"Listen I'm gonna go to bed ok...it's been a long night, you are welcome to stay here and play the xbox or whatever." I stood up and walked over toward my room before I heard a small vulnerable voice call my name.

"Bella...I'm sorry..." He looked so sad and I'm that moment I wanted to go up and kiss and hug him but I am hurt and can not forgive him so quickly and I think inside he knows that.

"Whatever...see ya around Edward..." I said and disappeared into my sanctuary safe and sound..,what the heck just happened tonight?

EdwardPOV

When she disappeared into her bedroom and we eventually heard her breathing even out I let out a huge breath I was holding, I know that technically I didn't have to breathe but that one expel of air was needed and it felt good.

"We broke her..." Esme croaked out as she clung to Carlisle for dear life and glare at me. "We left and we broke her." I saw the tears pool in all of the females eyes at this statement.

"I can't believe she can't have children?" Rosalie had done a 360 turn on Bella, when we lived in Forks Bella was not her favourite person, but now they were acting like best friends.

"I can't believe she developed a drink and drug problem." Carlisle was worried they all were and I could tell Jasper knew more from Bella's inner feelings, I am going to talk to him later.

"I can't believe she attacked Edward with a glass full of water." My dear brother always looking on the lighter side of things, Emmett really had a unique way of putting things out there and that caused most of the people to giggle a little at that.

"Yeah ok fine...it's halarious" I saw her hand itch toward the glass a few times in a threatening motion I didn't actually think she was going to slam a glass across the side of my head.

"Seriously bro she cracked you good." Before anything else was said her phone rang a few times and before anyone of us could answer the machine picked it up.

"Hey sweetie it's me...Im on call tonight so Im gonna have to rain check for tonight as you have probably guessed , you so need to give me the sitch later ok on how that bitch Julia or Jessica or whatever the skanks name is telling people you broke her nose. She is talking about press charges sweetie the bitch better watch herself or I'll make sure no plastic surgeon could even fix her nose. Gotta go babe but I will see you at tomorrow at some point enjoy your day off! Love you! Oh by the way I want you to meet my man tomorrow I will bring him by after work and you better be there." This woman who lived with Bella apparently looked after her well enough, they must be such good friends, and I can't help but wonder how much she knows...how much Bella has confided in her.

"So Edward...whats the plan?" Emmett was grinning at me with one arm around Rosalies waist as she sat on his knee.

"Plan for what?" I do want her back but she is pissed off at me I know she is and I deserve it! In fact I deserve more than that. My family know it and so do I.

"Duh...plans to get Bella back. You need her and she needs you." He was really a big softie at heart is our Emmett and I know that all of the romantic comedies my sisters made them watch was rubbing off because the cheeky fucker always knew how to won Rose over in a flash.

"Emmett I am letting her have her space...Judging from her unenthusiastic greeting I'm guessing that I need to keep my distance." How do I even begin to plan...I love her. When I first arrived in Forks meeting her was infuriating of course but her scent was so addictive it was like crack cocaine. It was like I was drowning and Bella was my air I needed to breathe. She was beautiful and silent and she loved me for who I was, both the man and the monster.

"Look Edward...I'm not one for prying in peoples personal affairs but there is a reason that you and Bella were thrown together not once but twice, what does that tell you huh?" Rosalie never buts in unless it directly implicates her so this advice from her means a lot to me.

"You saw her guys ok, she hates me and I don't blame her." I left her vulnerable and unprotected. Everything that happened to her was completely avoidable. If I hadn't left her though would she be a doctor now? Probably not but she wouldn't have had to go through that much pain.

"So why exactly did you leave her Edward?" Esme asked this with such a specific tone in her voice that I was afraid to even answer her.

"To protect her..." She cut me off with a smack to the head which actually hurt, she put se strength in that one, she is lucky my head didn't crack right off.

"Well you did a crappy job of that didn't ya?" Carlisle put his hand on her knee to calm her down but it seemed to enrage her more. This was not going to be good. My mother is so going to kick my ass.

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_**SORRY FOR THE CLIFFIE ENDING BUT I HAD TO END IT THERE! **_

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	16. Chapter 16

_**Addicted Chapter 16**_

_Lily Kershaw-As it Seems_

_**BellaPOV**_

I woke up the next morning with the smell of bacon, eggs and coffee which I really wanted, caffiene is my gasoline. I stood up and my throat felt like sandpaper...hold on wait a second Rachel doesn't cook at least nothing eatable. I could hear my stereo playing a tune with a good dance beat to it.

I jumped into the shower and washed and dressed in appropriate attire for my vampiric guests, I'm hoping it was them because someone breaking into my house and cooking breakfast for me is weird, unless they didn't break in and have been here since last night. I had on a black wife beater and pair of denim ripped skinny jeans with the American flag printed on them.

I walked into the kitchen at the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life, there was Edward brushing up what looks like One of my Disney cups off the floor and for a moment I was curious because it was a glass I smashed over his head last night not a cup.

Emmett was standing dancing away on my coffee table to my music really badly I might add with Rose, Alice and Jasper laughing at him. Rose was holing out dollar bills and waving them in the air, I am a little worried that my little coffee table won't hold him for much longer, Esme was standing in the kitchen cooking up a storm with Carlisle who was wearing Rachels f**k the chef apron which I found both disturbing and kind of hot. A quick smash confirmed my suspicions as Emmett was laying sprawled out on the floor following my table in smithereens on the floor.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen...I told you get off the table how many times and yet you proceeded to dance and now it's broke..." He actually looked really scared right about now.

"Sorry Bella..." Rosalie was snickering in the corner at Emmett with his head bowed in both an embarrassed and apologetic gesture.

"You are replacing that Emmett!" Remind me never to piss off Mama Cullen that woman could make a grown hairy biker piss his pants with that glare.

"What happened my cup?" I glared at Edward and maybe blaming him was jumping the gun a little bit but he is brushing it up so I think it's safe to say he could be blamed but then again the way Emmett is acting it could just as easily be him. Actually it probably most likely him.

"Well Edward and I had a little chat last night Bella, I was angry at him and I threw it at his head...I'm really sorry I will replace it but I just let my temper get the better of me." I stood looking at her for a few seconds and just sort of shrugged my shoulders.

"Did you put your weight behind it?" She vigarously nodded as did the rest of the family as Edward huffed as he put the pieces into the trash.

"Yeah she did then Eddies arm flew across the kitchen..." I was shocked but surprisingly worried. Why would I be? The man/vampire/pussy is a douche and I shouldn't care if he lives or dies so how do I explain my worry?

"I said I was sorry but to be fair Edward you had it coming to you...treating Bella the way you did!" He looked so ashamed I was almost expecting him to throw himself off a cliff in shame, not that he would get hurt of course.

As I looked around the kitchen at my old family I realised that I really missed them I would be lying if I said I didn't, they were my family and I want to be in their lives but its a package deal, if I want them I need to accept him, but I don't have to be nice to him do I? I couldn't possibly smile and fake being friends can I, how long will my resolve last around him?

"Hey Bella! What you in the mod for Chica?" Emmett attempted that in a Latin accent and totally failed by the way. I mean way off the mark but it was kind of amusing seeing a big beefcake like Emmett trying to be all hasta a la haha but anyway.

"What are you doing?" I found it rather amusing that all of them were wearing the same clothes as last night and looked incredible. They could wear rags and still look hot.

"I made you French Toast, Pancakes, Waffles and bacon I didn't know what you ate so I made a little bit of everything..." God Esme is a culinary goddess as far as I remember and I was glad she was here but there is enough to feed a small army, I mean I eat a lot but not this much for breakfast.

"I usually have coffee because I'm too tired to cook but seriously right now I think I'm gonna try all of it..." I needed to help because in that moment Edward came to stand beside me and it felt awkward but also felt kinda great because I suddenly felt powerful.

I felt like I could toy with him, it would be kinda fun to get Edward all hot and bothered I mean, I have matured and learnt a lot of tricks along the way and I mean he may be over one hundred years old but on the inside he is still a 17 year old virgin and they are the most fun to play with.

"Help yourself to everything Bella if you want more I can make more it's not a problem..." I waved her off the subject because this was perfect.

"No really Esme it's perfect, you better not let Rachel get ahold of you or she will chain you to the kitchen..." At this she laughed and hugged me, "You think I'm kidding I really not..." She shook her head in amusement as they all watched me. I lifted out a plate from the cupboard and my shirt rode up at the back and I saw Edward bite his lip hard and look at me while Jasper smacked him on the back of the head.

For a second it looked like they were having a conversation and I was the only one in the room who didn't understand because all the women looked pissed off and all the men were grinning like shit eating assholes.

As I ate and drank my coffee they asked me more questions and Emmett asked about how I ended up here in Richmond. And I sat between him and Rose while Esme cleaned up the leftovers for Rachel and the rest sat down where ever they could.

"Umm...well I had just finished med school so went home to Forks for the summer and I met a guy in Port Angeles, he was pierced, tattooed and drove a Harley, not exactly who you would take home to meet dad. I swear Charlies eyes near about popped out of his socket the first time he saw him, albeit nothing helped matters much tho because he was naked in my bed but anyway..." I saw Edward shift in his seat and his fists clamp together so tight i was worried he was gonna pull his own hands off.

"We were hot and heavy for a couple of weeks I mean a hot guy with a motorcycle I was crazy about him and then you will never guess who I caught him in bed with..." They were riveted by my story and Edward was squirming in his seat looking more and more uncomfortable at this conversation. Its juvenile I know but I am gonna lay it on thick about sex and when he is here I'm gonna walk around in my underwear and wear skimpy clothes, leave the bathroom door open. I know Rachel walks around practically Naked like that all the time anyway so I'm gonna have to tell her who the Cullens are and I know she will help me piss off Edward.

"Who?" Emmett was like this little kid in a candy store and they were all hanging in my every word as I told my story. He looked so much like Alice bouncing up and down so hard I was scared if he fell there would be a whole in my floor.

"Jessica Stanley!" All of the kids jaws dropped at that and Esme wore a hateful look on her face and glared straight at Carlisle who looked like he was gonna piss his pants.

"Stanley, wasn't that the name of the nurse who propositioned us for a swingers party in Forks and practically clung to you with those talons of hers every chance she got." Ha I did an internal happy dance in my head at that because I can just invasion Esme clobbering her one.

"Wow swingers, I knew you were kinky with the bondage in the basement but I didn't think you would swing..." Ok that needs to be bleached from my brain.

"Ok Rosalie, seriously that is way to much information for even me to handle." She just laughed and bumped shoulders with me. I liked this new version of Rose we were like kindred spirits.

"So anyway I left and came out here got the internship and the rest is history." We were sitting chatting for another half an hour before the door flew open and I saw Rachel tumble through the door attached at the lips with some random guy as he pushed her against the wall not even closing the door and she pulled at his coat and belt before I cleared my throat.

"You know the neighbours won't have to pay for porn when you are giving it to them for free and you know how Pervy Olaf is! He will probably like to join in!" She broke apart from him with her legs wrapped around him as I stood with the Cullens in an awkward silence for a second.

"Hi I'm Leo..." That son of a bitch...he's a vampire...oh some gonna get a beat down. WTF

_**EdwardPOV **_

I don't understand what was happening one minute Bella was telling us a story and the next my 'brother' was standing half naked with a girl wrapped around his waist, a girl who apparently lived here with Bella! This is so not good and just got upped ten new levels of weird on the scale.

"Hey Guys...what are you doing here?" Leo was momentarily embarrassed before turning his attention to Bella and it dawned on him.

"Oh no way! This has got to be the most awkwardest Karmic Joke ever played on you Eddie..." All of my family laughed but of course tried to be respectful. Rachel, Bellas roommate was confused.

"Ok wait a second...whats going on?" You know this really was the universe telling me to suck it up. I left her, screwed her up royally and now we are going to be in each others lives anyway even after I left and not only do we have one human but two this is getting ridiculous.

"Ok I need a conference with Rachel really fast ok excuse us!" As she walked over and grabed her by the neck of her shirt into the bathroom.

"DUDE THE FUCKING HURTS! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?"  
She sounded extremely confused for a second. "Ok what's going on Bella you are acting weird...well weirder than normal! Who are all those people and how do you know them?" Bella let out a breathy growl that went straight to my crotch and in that moment I sat down hopefully hiding the raging hard on I was currently sporting. Of course we could still hear them but apparently they needed that fake semblance of privacy.

"What the heck Leo...you got faster in a few days the Edward did in nearly a year...how?" I glared at Emmett for phrasing that question quite like that.

"So that's Bella...wow...I didn't even put two and two together how did I miss that?" He was sincerely apologetic in his head to me.

"How much did you tell her?" Rose was paranoid as usual, it's no secret she hates humans but she is more worried about the impact of two humans and if Leo decides to change Rachel and Bella decides she wants to be a vampire.

Alice has already seen her ask believe it or not then there is the possibility of two newborns, how are we going to cope with that? Alright I am jumping the gun a little because of course Alices visions are subjective they can always change.

"Everything...she already knew the short version because of the Shape shifters back on Forks. Rachel used to go there in the summer and saw one of the boys phase one day. She called me out this morning about it, I cant now help but wonder how much Bella filled in."Leo got all that from a touch, his powers were the same as Aro from the Volturi. He is able to see every memory from just a single touch.

"So now what do we do? I mean my mate and yours are best friends and human." In that second I was jealous of Leo he is so much more older that I am, he is able to control himself around Rachel a lot better that I ever could with Bella.

"I'm not his mate..." I didn't even hear her come back in as I was too wrapped up in my own selfish thoughts. She is really angry, I am getting a full glare from her how do I even begin to make it up to her? Flowers? Candy? Jewellery? Well it's a start right?

"Ok so she knew mostly everything and anything I didn't tell her well Leo the Lion kind of filled everything in for her so...but she knows...she knows who you are and what you did." She trailed off and I knew she couldn't really understand what had happened in a previous life to deserve such torture because I was feeling exactly the same.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Heylo...fellow fanfictioners! i am very sorry for abandoning you all...i can only write when inspiration inspires me to. I am writing my own story aswell...sort of my life story...I was a bit of a bad child and decided to write it all down and get it out of my head.**_

_**please continue reading and reviewing this story if you are enjoying it! ;)**_

_**Addicted Chapter 17**_

_CarlislePOV_

We all were standing in silence for a while before Rachel went over to the refrigerator and her eyes kind of went blank in that moment, before her jaw dropped.

"Bella...where did all of this food come from?" She had taken out a plate and piled it with pancakes, French toast and bacon with strawberries and chocolate. How humans can eat like that I have no idea.

"Esme cooked us Breakfast." She smile and poured herself another cup of coffee. As Rachel bit into the French toast a loud moan emanated from her.

"Oh my god...mmm...this is probably the most delicious breakfast I have ever had...thank you Esme..." I liked this girl already, sure she talks more than she should but Leo is kind of like that too so I guess it's a good fit. And Bella seems to be very close with her so I know there is only the closest of close knows the secret and she is practically family already.

"You are most very welcome Rachel, anytime at all..." She grinned a full smile showing off those pearly whites at my wife.

"Can I just kidnap your wife like every day?" She asked me as I kissed Esmes forehead and held onto her for dear life and shook my head as the telephone rang.

"HA TOLD YA!" Bella looked at Esme with a wink and took her cup of coffee over to the couch to pick up the phone.

"Heylo..." Both of these girls compliment each other wonderfully and I could tell they share a special bond with one another.

"Hey Bells how's Oregon?" I would recognise the chiefs voice anywhere, He sounds good if not tired. It must be hard for him having Bella so far away.

"Hi daddy, I'm good everything is fine. How's Sue?" I was a little bit confused before I realised that the chief had probably found someone.

"She's great Bella, asking about you and can't wait to have you home..." There was a moment of silence in the room before she looked nervous and took it in the other room.

"What's going on dad?" Even through the thin Walls I could hear her conversation.

"I talked to Jacob, he said you were having some difficulty recently..." I knew the whole family were listening to this I...I saw Edward looking more and more ashamed of himself as the day went on.

"I did dad but I'm fine I promise, I went to a meeting and I am fine ok...Just a momentary lapse ok. I'm fine really in doing really good." I felt this overwhelming urge to hug her and let her know that its ok. As soon as Bella relayed his fears they made idle chit chat for a few more minutes before saying their goodbyes and she came outside and gave Rachel a hug.

"That's from my dad..." She laughed with her slightly and I realised it must be an inside joke.

"How is the chief? Still as hunky as ever since he shaved off that ridiculous moustache? Although I bet if felt good on the skin. He is such a DILF!" I laughed at her and was slightly disturbed by it, but I'm guessing Bella is used to is because she didn't even bat an eye at her innuendo. What's a DILF? I looked over at Edward as he shook his head slightly at me as if to say don't ask, so it can't be anything good.

"He has invited us home for thanksgiving this year so you can see for yourself." As I looked around at everyone in their own bubble I couldn't help but feel as if the the whole family was healed, all is right within the Cullen family again.

_**EdwardPov**_

They stood both side by side in the kitchen like mirrors, all Leo and I could do is stare in wonder at them both. I felt rather out of place. There was a kind of intimacy between these two best friends and it was something that I had only ever seen between lovers, they couldn't have been? Could they? Leo snapped his head up toward me in a panicked look and glanced between Bella and Rachel in fear.

"Ok so you are telling me that after all that we all would do it again?" I had zoned out so I had no idea what they were talking about so I am drawing a blank.

"Ok well it sucks the first time so we need to do it again to make sure..." Rachel was talking with a smile on her face and Bella just looked so amused.

"It doesn't just suck ok it is terrible. How anything in the world can be that bad is beyond me." Rosalie and Alice were laughing and smirking at me and thinking about sex. God this is a topic of conversation I do not want to get into.

"Who was your first Rachel...we all know Bella's dirty little secret about sleeping with Jacob..." Rose was curious about this girl. She is a beautiful young woman and she was older than Bella obviously but there is youth quality about her. Mature for her age but there is also a certain level of childishness that counteracts the adult.

"She slept with Jake a lot didn't you?" Bella wasn't ashamed because in Rachels head I seen them together and they looked happy.

"Trust me the boy didn't have a clue what he was doing but we were experts by the time I introduced him to his wife." So Jake is married...wow guess things do work out for the better.

"Ok I have to ask this I have been watching you guys all morning and you are almost like a couple, it has been bugging me all morning my mind has been going crazy with different scenarios have you guys ever...you know..." I wanted to smack him so hard in that moment.

"Emmett what exactly are you asking? Use your words..." Bella was toying with him,manipulating him to say it. Esme and Edward looked mortified, God what on earth has happened to my little shy Bella? Alice and Jasper were curious and Leo looked rather excited.

"Have you ever slept together?" Bella looked at Rachel and had a slight nod of their heads at each other before Bella leaned over with no hesitation and pressed her lips to Rachels. They kissed long enough to allow three fist pumps from Em and high five between Jazz and Leo and I am sure if I were a human right now my face would be three different shades of red. As they broke apart I could see them look at each other at smile before turning to look at Emmett.

"Does that satisfy you're curiosity?" Bella asked with a smirk on her face and then she glanced at me.

"What it's just a kiss Edward don't freak out I kiss people all the time look..." Then she leaned over Emmett and gave Rose the same kiss as she had just given Rachel only this one had more Tongue and I thought in that moment Emmett was going to explode with excitement.

"Oh god please tell me this is not a dream!" Emmett was practically salvating at the sight of his wife making out with my ex-girlfriend. This is going to be harder than I thought.

"How long?" It flew out of my mouth before I had even registered what I had said and I saw her previously relaxed expression turn into a hard glare directed at me.

"We were never together in a relationship...we just had sex a lot..." She grinned at me and I knew what she was doing. Every now and again I would catch her bite gently onto her lip and glance at me with hooded eyes. Then this morning her t-shirt rode up and all I saw was smooth silky White skin I just wanted to worship, she knew this was killing me inside.

"Hey Bella...I might take you up on that offer now..." Rosalie ran her fingers gently over Bellas shoulder and I could see Bella in Rose's head offering a threesome. Both girls shimmied closer to one another and Bella tucked a piece of stray hair behind Roses ear.

"Really..." Before they could say anything else Emmett just erupted.

"OH GOD PLEASE SAY YES!" Everyone in the room laughed at him but I just felt horror at even the idea of Emmett and Rosalie sleeping with Bella. In Rosalie's head all she kept repeating was how much she loved Bellas long legs and Emmett was creating scenarios of his wife and Bella.

"You know maybe we should keep it girls only...Alice come here" Oh no, Jaspers face went from confusion to horny in 2.1 seconds.

"NO! I need to watch!" As Alice sat down next to Rachel all four of the girls looked at each other and started playing with each others hair and they all looked at their spouses with sex on the brain and Bella looked at me with elation and very pleased with herself.

Bella-3 Edward-0! Shit!

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	18. Chapter 18

_Hey guys! So happy to see the followers for my story I am ecstatic that you are enjoying this ficas much as I am writing it._

_So I have a problem with the timing of Bella and Edwards romance...they will be together eventually I am going to drag it out a little but not too long for you to lose interest._

_I want it to be smart and right for the characters and the direction of the story so and I am also going to make Bella go off the rails a little bit along the way and who will save her...of course Edward so please if you have any questions about the story please PM me and I will answer them! UNTIL THEN ADIOS PARTY PEOPLE! OH AND PLEASE REVIEW_

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_**Addicted Chapter 18  
**_  
_BellaPOV_

It had been three weeks since the Cullens had been back in my life and since our lesbian tease in front of the boys. I thought they were all going to keel over with strokes, Esme joined in and Papa C looked a little hot under the collar, I know that vampires could blush but all of them were a little high with the blood pressure.

I was still not talking to Edward, he had sent me numerous flowers and bought me Jewellery and chocolate, along with all other things, I wasn't even acknowledging any of it. This man was not the Edward I knew, this man is trying his best to get into my good books and I realised that we need a clean slate, fresh start just as friends.

Rachel thought I was crazy, Leo does all that romantic shit for her and she loves it, her and Leo are great together, she is so cute with him it's the strangest not to mention the happiest I had ever seen her, I like him he is a good guy and he spoils her rotten. He is like my family already, he has Emmett's mannish humour and Carlisle calm exterior not to mention Edwards gorgeous looks.

I am currently in a little bit of a predicament, I can slowly feel my resolve with Edward slipping away but I need to keep my head above ground. I need him to work for my love, I need him to know that he can't hurt me again. I am a different person and so is he it can not be a simple reconciliation.

I can feel it with every glance and small moment that we have with each other. He knew that my perseverance was slipping away, he sent me these panty dropping smiles every now and again which actually make my knees weak and I find myself actually smiling back at him but I still have yet to actually converse with him properly.

"Bella...I'm leaving...I will see you later ok." I am laying down on my bed with music going when I hear her hollering I can silently thank god that her bedroom antics will be irritating the Cullens and not me tonight.

"Yeah cool I'll see you later." I needed my space every few days and recently I haven't been on my own since before they came and to be perfectly honest I needed a break. As I heard the front door closing I stood and went to get coffee.

If I wasn't with Rachel or at work I was with one or more of the Cullens it was exhausting trying to hold up my end of the conversation. I love them I do but I am so used to having a lot of time to myself now. I don't it is kind of hard to adjust to being bombarded all of the time, not to mention Rachel and Leo having bedroom sex so often, I actually thought her headboard was going to come through the wall.

As I walked to get coffee the doorbell rang and all of a sudden I felt really pissed off, why is the door ringing? This is supposed to be me time. Maybe if I ignore it they will go away whoever they are.

"Bella...I know you're in there ok please open the door." It was Edward what the hell is he doing here? I haven't been alone with him since he came back I don't know if I can handle it. As I walk cautiously toward the door I felt slightly scared and vulnerable and there he is. God he is really perfect every time I look at him, standing there with a rather large rectangular box in front of him.

"Hey..." Ok he says that with such a warm smile and I have to keep reminding myself do not give in do not give up. I don't move from the door but I do put one hand on my waist and lean the other one on the door.

"What do you want Edward?" I could tell he was hurting because every time he glances at me I feel his love is still there but I can not go down that road again, if I starting anything with him I wouldn't survive. So how exactly do I keep my hands to myself when he is looking so good? I have not had sex in a really long time and it takes all my self control not to jump him right here and now.

"Look can we please just talk? Please..." His eyes are full of pain and guilt but I can also tell that this conversation is not going to be good. I move from the entrance in a come in gesture and as he walked around the living room he almost looked uncomfortable. He has never looked like that before but maybe its because he always has his backup sibling with him.

"You wanted to talk...so talk..." I know I am being a bitch but I need to give him my no nonsense attitude right from the get go or I will end up giving him mixed signals and that is the last thing I wanted to do. If I act like a bitch I won't have to worry about pouncing on him.

"I'm sorry..." As he looked at the scuff marks on his shoes I felt overcome with rage, and I realise that is all he wanted to say. How dare he come into my sanctuary and say he is sorry he has had weeks and I have never asked for an apology from him. Screw the clean slate.

"What? Are you fucking kidding me?" I could tell he was shocked by my outburst but in all honesty I may have been feeling some sort of positive emotions the past few days but believe me I also have a lot of pent up anger and frustration, if hitting him on the head with a glass was evidence of that.

"I know we haven't talked about it all since we came back into your life Bella but Leo is in love with Rachel and we are going to be a part of each others lives so we may as well get things out of the way right now, I just had to tell you I love you ok...I have always loved you. I love the old Bella and as I have got to know the new Bella I have slowing started to fall for that Bella as well and I am sorry for making you into this person but it turned out pretty good for your career... I love you...just as you are."

Ok now I'm pissed this is for his benefit and comfort and forgive me for my childish and juvenile behaviour but I do not give a shit how he feels or what he wants.

"You left me...remember. I was the one left broken and alone and scared when the love of my life left me in the woods. I was the one who thought she was going crazy when I began to hear your voice when I did something stupid or reckless. I went drinking and partying and joy riding with my dads car to hear you. So yeah you can take all of the credit for fucking with my head and making me into who I am but my career is my hard work and mine alone. Get out...NOW!" I have never seen anyone run away as fast in my life and all I wanted now was a drink...I am in so much trouble.

_**EdwardPOV **_

Damn it Edward, what the heck were you thinking man, god I have screwed up majorly tonight, the conversation sounded better in my head that the way it came out. As I ran home in the confines of the forest I felt no hope, I have lost her for good.

"No luck huh?" Jasper of course would be eavesdropping on my conversation with her. "Damn Ed I have never felt anything as crippling as her emotions how she is still on her feet is incredible." I had needed to talk to him and now is the perfect time.

"Things were going so well with Bella an the family, I just needed to apologise to her. I know it's gonna take a lot more than I'm Sorry but..." He looks at me with pity and I know if anyone understands the feeling of rejection and pain it's Jasper.

"Just be patient Edward, she will come around, I promise." He knows something that I don't and it frustrates me when he does that crap around me. I need to be alone an he seems to sense it because instead of saying things he just walks away toward the house. How have I screwed everything up so much? And what is it gonna take to fix it?

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	19. Chapter 19

_**HEY GUYS! So i have been a busy bunny these past few weeks! Have wrote several new stories and plenty of Chapters on my existing ones so please i really hope you enjoy them!**_

_**Please let me know of any inprovements I can make or if you would like me to put any of your ideas in the story!**_

* * *

_**Chapter 19**_

_**BellaPOV**_

After my outburst at Edward I felt my entire body shake with anger as I rinsed my hands under the tap to calm them. How dare he waltz in here and make himself out to be a martyr. I sat on the couch and just stared at the wall in frustration before my phone knocked me out of my coma.

"Hello..." I always sounded real strange on the phone.

"Hey baby..." I always felt lighter after talking to my mom. I told her about the Cullens coming back into my life and she was concerned but trusted my judgement. Charlie however was furious, so furious in fact that he threatened to come to Richmond and kill him for me.

"So are you and Rachel still coming for thanksgiving?" I could hear the hopefulness in her voice. She loved us coming home for the holiday and I had to work the past two thanksgivings so I couldn't go to Florida.

"Yeah we wouldn't miss it..." We spoke for another forty minutes before saying our goodbyes and talk to you laters and I hung up.

As I cooked dinner thanks to Esme who keeps me well stocked up with food I suddenly felt cold. Air fly toward me before I was pulled into a viciously tight hug.

"Bella boo!" Emmett really did make me feel so safe when I can breathe that is. He has taken up residence with the role of my protector since he has came back.

"Hey Em..." I glanced over my shoulder and saw Rosalie standing there with her hair sitting to perfection.

"Hey Bella move over..." I shifted and sat on the counter as Rosalie took over making my meal. It always amazes me how vampires can do so many things at once.

"Where is everyone?" I asked in a much more serious tone. I can't handle talking to Edward again today. I know any progress we had made until now had flew out the window when he tried to sooth his conscience.

"Carlisle and Esme are away out to dinner and Jasper and Alice are away shopping for Real Estate." My confused expression must have been evident because she let out a low chuckle and smiled at me.

"Real Estate?" She nodded her head and me and Emmett slapped me lightly on the back.

"Yeah they are looking for a love nest. They do that with every town or city we stay in it just helps them if they need a couple of nights away from the family. They both weren't created by Carlisle and they never had the best of past before their change so if they need a couple weekend just for the two of them a house helps."

I suppose it made sense that they feel like outsiders but I never even really thought of them as such. The whole Cullen family unit is so strong it doesn't even bear thinking about them being separated.

"Edward is in the woods sulking..." That was the only explanation I was given as we settled on my couch and they watched me eat.

"So I have been meaning to ask you a question Bella...but I don't know how to approach it." I had my mouth full when Rosalie said this and I smiled at her.

"What do you wanna know?" I asked with a grin on my face, at least I hope it's a grin and not a grimace.

"I still don't understand why you wanted to throw away your future to be with Edward, I get that you love him..." I decided to cut her off before she got any more of the facts wrong.

"Loved...past tense..." I took another bite of my food and she looked taken back by this revelation.

"So you don't love him anymore...you don't want to be changed anymore..." I shook my head and found it very difficult to swallow my food as my throat felt very constricted.

"No...I wouldn't want to be changed for him but I suppose if I was sick or dying or brain dead I would want a second chance and more time to spent with people I love." She looked like she was ready to cry at me.

"Thank you Bella, for being honest." I stood up and hugged her we were broke apart by my cell phone ringing and I laughed before answering it.

"Hello..." I answered rather quickly and didn't expect the other end to chill me to the bone.

"Bella it's Sue..." My smile faultered a little at her grave tone of voice.

"Hey Sue...what's up?" She never called me, my dad always did and she would say hello but she never called me of her ow accord.

"Bella it's your father..." That's all it took those four words and I ran into my bedroom pulling out a suitcase before she could say anything else.

"He was shot sweetie, I think you should come down here..." I quickly agreed with her and threw an abundance of clothes into the bag before agreeing to see her soon and hung up.

"Bella...I have you booked on a flight to Port Angeles and then a car rented to take you to Forks." Rosalie came over and hugged me as did Emmett I felt my self control break down the longer I stayed sandwiched in their arms.

"Thanks..." I closed my bag and ran to change into a pair of jeans and a tank top before leaving a message on Rachel's answer machine. I know she will freak out and probably follow me to Forks but right now I just want to see my dad and hug him, tell him I love him. I arrived at the airport and saw Emmett park the car in a long stay car park.

"I'm fine Emmett you can just drop me off..." He scoffed at this and pul his arm around my shoulder.

"Now Bella you don't think we were going to leave you alone did you?" Rosalie reached into the glove compartment and lifted out two passports, albeit they were Russian passports but that was a clear indication they were not going to take no for an answer.

"You just happen to keep passports in your car?" I asked and Emmett enthusiastically nodded before lifting out a pouch with all of the Cullens passports.

"Incase of Emergencies..." She declared and set them back, Emmett had my bag lifted out before slinging a backpack over his shoulder and giving Rose a handbag. I don't think I want to know what else is in their trunks.

We had checked in and went through security and were now sitting in the departure lounge awaiting a call to begin boarding. I hadn't allowed myself to think too much about what was waiting for me in Forks but I know it will not be good...all I wanted was to pull Edward to my chest and never let go, which was not healthy...was it?

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	20. Chapter 20

_**Yo yo yo ok girlies i need your honest opinions about my story and I am enjoyinh writing but that doesn't neccesarily mean you are still enjoying reading so please let me know how you feel about my story...**_

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_**Chapter 20**_

We had been flying for a few hours now and I felt so restless I kept fidgeting in my seat and I could feel Rosalie touch my arm gently at Emmett gaze at me warmly to make sure I was ok. I was silently glad that I had both Emmett and Rose with me even though I will not admit it. She had called Carlisle and he made sure the Chief of Surgery knew and gave me some time off.

Two hours and two drinks later I was never glad to see land more than I do now. I had grabbed my suitcase from the conveyer belt and Emmett already had the car rental sorted and we walked out to pick up a black Mercedes which reminded me of Carlisles car. It took us 30 minutes to arrive at Forks Hospital and I flew to Reception and saw a young pretty looking girl there who kinda reminded me of Lauren from Forks High.

"Hi I'm Ashley Mallory welcome to Forks Hospital how can I help you." Ok Lauren's sister maybe...she has had way too much coffee from the fact that she was practically bouncing up and down in that plastic chair so much I half expected it to break, she actually rivalled Alice as she was ready to erupt.

"I'm looking for Charlie Swan he was brought in with a gunshot wound..." Her face looked horror struck as she placed her hand on one of mine that was resting on the receptionists desk, earning weird looks from Rose and Emmett.

"A gunshot oh that's terrible I mean a person shooting someone in the small town is just horrible, makes you feel unsafe in your home." I cut her off by slamming my free hand on the Counter and roving the one she had in a vice grip.

"Listen can you just tell me where he is?" She hustled and bustled around her desk and pointed me in the direction of ICU but not before muttering "bitch" under her breath...I should get Rosalie to eat her on principle.

As i arrived to Charlies room and to where Sue was sitting holding his hand and crying. It was still weird to see them together as a couple. Most of the pack where here in his room including Jake and Billy and Leah and Seth obviously here supporting their mom. I looked behind me and saw Emmett and Rosalie must have stayed behind to avoid a row but I saw Sam, Leah, Jake and Paul coming towards the door.

"You brought leeches here?" Was the first thing out of his mouth and I wanted to slap him so hard right now it was killing me and Leah was glaring daggers straight at me which made me wanna punch her so hard it's not even funny. Once my dad started dating her mom we came to a mutual understanding but that doesn't mean I don't wanna slap her when he acts like a bitch.

"I'm fine Jake my father has been shot but I'm ok thanks for asking..." It was like I had kicked his puppy and he had realised that I was crying. He pulled me in for a hug and I saw the other guys soften too albeit not as much as Jake. Leah just nodded her head at me and I knew she felt sympathy for me I mean her dad died of a heart attack if anyone understands its her.

"Sorry Bells I shouldn't have snapped but I can smell them all over you..." I just waved him off and walked into my dads room and hugged Sue hitch lasted a very long time but I instantly relaxed in her arms and I could feel that parental aura in the room and it was a good positive energy.

"Oh Bella how are you?" There was tears in her eyes and obvious streaks down her face where she had already been crying.

"I'm ok I guess how is he?" I could practically feel the love radiating of Sue as she looked at my dad. She has already lost her husband before, Harry died of a heart attack when I was in my senior year of high School and I don't think she could handle loosing the man she loves again.

"I don't know the doctor is an asshole won't tell me anything that I understand." I could only nod at her as I lifted his chart. Both his blood pressure at temperature is slightly spiked.

"I don't see anything which means we need to have any worries but I'm gonna go find the doctor ok?" I saw her nod before gripping onto dads hand. I had walked back over to the Nurses Station and saw a young petite brunette and smiled at her.

"Hi I'm looking for Dr Masterson, he operated on Charlie Swan my father." She nodded sympathetically at me as I watched her fluster and look for Dr Masterson.

"He is in surgery but it should be finished soon I will send him your way when he is finished ." I walked away after thanking her and went back to join Sue but was flanked by the Power couple.

"Bella...how is he?" I saw Emmett and Rose pulled me closer to and hug me which made all of the tenseness disappear from my shoulders.

"I don't know I haven't spoke to his doctor yet so I don't know...look you guys can go I'm ok really I will probably be here for a while and the longer you are here the more chance you have of someone seeing you and noticing you haven't aged." They both just shook their head.

"Bella I am not leaving you alone..." Emmett was so cute when he was all protective but in all honesty I just need to be alone. After a lot more fighting they agreed to leave but just to go back to the House in Forks and I walked back to see Sue sitting on her own.

"Where did the boys go?" She ran her hand through her hair and I briefly saw the toll this was taking on her.

"Back home I think they are going to talk to the Cullens." I saw her look at me gravely and she pulled her chair over to me.

"Bella I want to ask you something...I can't lose another husband ok and I needed to ask your permission to talk to the Cullens..." I hope she isn't suggesting what I think she is because I know that would start an all out turf war.

"Sue..." I tilted my head at her I saw her glance at her shoes before looking back up and I saw that steel and determination in her eyes return.

"I know it's a lot to ask but I have already spoke to Leah and Seth about getting their approval and we have hypothetically talked about it when he first found out about the vampires and shape shifters." I can't even speak right now...is she saying my dad wants to be a vampire?

"You spoke to him about becoming a vampire?" I saw her nod her head before taking my hand in hers.

"We were talking one night about Renee's cancer and I had asked him if he were terminally sick or brain dead would he want to die or be given a second chance? He wanted the chance to spend more time with you Bella." I shook my head and could feel myself be a little bit sick in my mouth.

"If he were changed he would stay like that Sue forever...you would grow old and die and I think destroy him more." I said to her and she smirked slightly at me and nodded her head.

"Bella I have shape shifters as children and I know it would be a lot to ask but Charlie is my soul mate..." Ok now I see where she is going and now this whole insane plan is actually starting to make sense.

"You would change for him? You would turn into a vampire?" I asked her and she grubbed Charlie's hand even tighter than before and her determination reminded me of when I was willing to change for Edward.

"I know if would be a lot to ask of the Cullens but I'm dead without him...I would do anything for him. And if he were that sick that i would need the Cullens help then so be it..." I heard a slight gruff beside me.

"Good thing you don't have to worry bout that anytime soon." I felt the tears prick at the side of my eyes as I saw his brown eyes shining back at me.

"Dad..." It came out as a whisper and I saw Sue wrap her arms around him and kiss him really hard.

"Oh god...Charlie Swan you scared me you asshole..." I saw him smile at me and I kissed him on the cheek and hugged him.

"Good to see you Bells!" We were interrupted by Rachel barging into the room.

"I can not believe Charlie has a heart attack and you don't even tell me I had to hear it from the Jackass Edward who is still moping after you threw him out of the apartment. He was being a asshole to me so I want to permission to beat the shit out of him..." She ran over to hug me and rushed about ten questions at me at the one time.

"Is he ok? What's his platelets? Is his wound ok or do we need plastics? How's his temp?" I finally placed both my hands on her shoulders

"Rachel! Calm down ok relax..." She centres herself and takes a deep breath in and out.

"Is he ok?" I could see slight tears in her eyes. Charlie had been like a father to Rachel and every time she comes home for The holidays her and dad sit with Seth and watch sports while Leah, Sue and I make dinner and both Christmas and Thanksgiving. They have truly bonded and if anyone deserves a semblance of a father figure its Rachel.

"I'm fine..." Her head snapped toward the bed so fast I thought she was gonna get whiplash.

"Charlie..." The slight crackle in her throat hardly ever comes out she always reserves that for me and Charlie and when she is sick ad whining when anyone helps her.

"I'm ok..." She gives him a hug before holding onto his hand with one hand and wiping her eyes with her other one.

"God I am so glad you're ok...but you ever be so stupid again to get yourself shot I will kill you." We all laughed and sat down together laughing and crying before we were chased put by a preppy nurse.

"Sue you should go home and shower get some rest I can stay with dad..." She looked reluctant at first until Seth convinced her otherwise. After everyone left I sat beside dad and I talked about work and mom. He eventually got tired and fell asleep and I did something I hadn't done in a really long time...pray.

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	21. Chapter 21

_**Hey Guys! Ok so I am really enjoying this fic and just so as I dont loose any readers I am gonna tell your whats gonna happen so as you bear with me.**_

_**I am gonna make Bella struggle a little with her control and need for all things bad for her but please stay with me because Edward is gonna be her knight in Shining Armour and is gonna save her so please stay on and don't forget to let me know what you think!**_

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_Chapter 21_

I didn't even remember falling asleep but I awoke with someone shaking my shoulder and calling my name. I found Esme standing hovering over me and I saw her smile and as I stood she wrapped her arms around me.

"Bella I am so sorry how is he? Carlisle is talking to his doctor..." She nodded over the door where I could see Carlisle talking to an Older gentleman and I ran over to the door swinging it open before Esme could say anything else.

"Dr Masterson?" He nodded at me and offered his sympathy before droning on about how much of a good man Charlie was and I held up my hand to stop him.

"How did his surgery go? Was there any complications?" He shook his head at me and smiled before reverting back to Dr mode...I should know I practically lived with that look on my face.

"When Charlie was brought in his heart has stopped, we managed to get it going again but the bullet had nicked and artery and a fraction of an inch and his heart would have been completely perforated by the bullet, we need to be extra vigilant with him for the next few days."

I stood their listening to him but I didn't feel like I was even taking in what he said. Carlisle placed his hand on my shoulder and pulled me in closer as Dr Masterson continued talking but I couldn't even hear him.

"Come on Bella let's go in and see your dad." As I walked into his room he was sitting much straighter in the bed and no amount of therapy could have prepared me for what I was about to witness.

"DAD!" There right in front of me was Charlie and Sue stuck in a lip lock that rivalled Emmett and Rosalie and that saying something. Sues face turned a bright shade of scarlet at ring busted red handed.

"We'll you look like you're feeling better Chief..." Carlisle said with a smirk as I looked around the room I noticed Esme had gone I didn't even see her go passed me.

"Dr Cullen... call me Charlie,what are you doing here?" He shook Carlisles hand but not before his face turned into a scowl.

"That boy is not here is he? I don't care what he is I will still shoot him." Carlisle shook his head and I could see my grave expression as I was worried incase Charlie actually did take the shotgun and attempted to murder Edward I was worried the bullet would bounce off hi and dad would just shoot him again.

"Call me Carlisle and no he's at school..." My dads face turned into one of Confusion and amusement.

"Isn't he a little old for school..." Carlisle laughed and shook his head before lifting my dads chart.

"No but because we have to move around a lot the children have to keep going to High School..." My dad shuttered at that before wincing as he laughed.

"That's a little bit depressing doc...no offense." I laughed a little at Charlie's laid back attitude about Vampires.

"What the damage Carlisle..." Dads expression turned professional as Carlisle began to explain his injuries.

"The bullet went in right here..." He pointed to the spot right below his clavicle. "A fraction of an inch lower Charlie this would be an entirely different conversation we would be having."

Dad nodded before taking my hand in one of his and Sues hand in the other.

"I am so glad your not dead Chief..." Emmett smiled as him and Rosalie stepped into the room. Rosalie went over and hugged him gently.

"Good to see you again Chief Swan..." Watching my dad perv on Rosalie's ass was not really on my list of things I want to witness but Sues clearing of the throat was enough to snap him out of it as dad lifted her hand and kissed the back of it.

"So when exactly can I be sprung from this joint?" Dad being dad put it oh so eloquently.

"We'll Charlie you have just had major surgery that will require a recovery period..." Carlisle was cut off by Rachel walking back in through his door.

"So they had no diet soda but did you know they have tubs and tubs of condoms in the reception area isn't that like free advertising that promiscuity is accepted in today's culture. Although judging from the lip lock I witnessed earlier on it is probably hospital policy...what do you think Charlie?" We all looked at her with this smile on her face and I knew she was scared for life with the display dad put on earlier. As all of the non Rachel knowers looked at her weirdly she dropped her smile before turning I worry.

"What?! What did I miss?" I just shook my head which mirrored my fathers head right about now but we were well used to Rachel and her effervescent ness so we didn't think too much of it.

"Daddy is planing an escape route..." She shook her finger at him and then went all ghetto on our asses.

"Oh hell to the no Papa C ok you are not getting outta here until you are ready...I will strap you down onto this bed if I have to..." We all laughed at this but Sues comment was most surprising.

"Don't he might enjoy it..." That was an image I needed bleached out of my head as Sue clapped her hand across her mouth I realised that she didn't even think before she spoke and was probably really embarrassed.

"SUE!" I was actually shocked and slightly revolted by this statement and my father, the person who is supposed to know better looked awfully proud of himself.

"What can I say I still got it!" I had to get out of this room before I completely freak out.

"DADDY!" He just shrugged as Sue put her hand in his and looked to the floor while everyone in the room sniggered slightly.

"So Chief Swan likes it kinky I knew my fantasy could be legitimate." I slapped her really hard on the arm to which she winced and rubbed it.

"RACHEL!." It sort of came out more of a screech that anything as she shrugged her shoulders.

"What!? Sorry the filter is broken..." She smirked and winked at my dad who was so used to this he just ignored her.

"What filter? It's non existent..." She nodded her head and shrugged in agreement. No more was said I the issue but over the course of the next few days I looked at my dad as he lay sleeping with Sue beside him one night and couldn't help but want to kick myself all I wanted was a shot of tequila, god please forgive me mg dad is lying sick and all I needed was a drink.

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	22. Chapter 22

_**Ok this chapter might anger some readers but I do want you to know this Story is and Edward/Bella story so fret not my fanfictioners even thought Bella is with someone other than Edward does not mean anything trust me she will see sense very soon. So on with the story please enjoy.**_

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Chapter 22

As I went home to shower and change I was unaware how much of a problem that would have caused me. Everything was normal...I showered and changed into tight track pants and a white vest before tying my hair in a plait which went down the length of my back and went to make coffee when I spotted it. There was a bottle of Jack Daniels sitting on shelf in the cupboard as I lifted it and placed if on the counter, I was broken out of my own little world by the phone ringing across the room.

"Hello..." I answered the phone but never took my eyes off of the bottle on the bench.

"Hey Bella...I'm so sorry I just found out about your dad..." Of course Alice I had forgotten about her momentarily. "How is he?" I loved the fact that the whole Cullen clan were ready to jump and all I had to do was say how high.

As I explained everything to her we talked for another few minutes before there was an awkward silence as she cleared her throat.

"Umm Bella...Edward was wondering if he could talk to you?" I sucked in a huge breath of air as she said this and I could hear Edward waffling in the background and I could hear the worry in Alice's voice.

"Yeah maybe later Alice I just want to crawl into Bed." She said no problem but before hanging up she said something that really hit home.

"Look he loves you Bella...and I know you love him to." I needed to take a breath because this is all seeing all knowing Alice we are talking about so either she had a vision or Edward was talking to her about me.

"Goodnight Alice..." I hung up and went to grab a glass. Everything was becoming too much for me. My dad was really badly hurt and my ex undead immortal vampire boyfriend is still in love with me. I half filled the glass with the Jack Daniels and cleaned it off before I even had the chance to rethink it.

An hour later and a bottle of Jack Daniels topped off I could feel slightly tipsy but not overly drunk then the shit really ht the fan. There was a knock on the door and I could walk very well, my tolerance for alcohol was pretty amazing as I have became quite hardened to the effects of alcohol.

"Bella open the door please..." I heard Rosalies pleading voice and when I opened the door I saw the panic in her eyes.

"Thank god you're ok..." I nodded as she pulled me in for a hug and squeezed me tight into her and Emmett wrapped around us both into his arms.

"I'm fine..." That's when the bottle on the coffee table was noticed and I knew Rose would be scary when she wants to be but that was nothing compared to Carlisle whom I didn't eve notice was standing there.

"Anything you want to talk about?" His eyes were full of anger and disappointment as his eyes drifted between the bottle and me.

"How much have you had?" I also heard the sadness and worry between his eyes and his voice.

"The whole bottle and before you go off on one Carlisle I almost lost my father today, my ex vampire boyfriend is still in love with me oh and I am officially the worst daughter ever so why don't you safe it for someone who actually gives a shit." As my rant began I walked into the living room in a straight line so they knew I wasn't drunk but well on my way.

"Bella..." As Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rose say down on the sofa I finished off the last of my Whiskey that was in the glass which earned me a disapproving glare from Emmett. I went to make Coffee as they lifted their noses is disgust at the smell.

"Bella I know this has been hard for you but is drinking really the answer?" I scoffed at Carlisles really stupid question.

"I am an addict! Ok and once an addict always an addict! THIS IS NOT HARD! Its excruciating..." I didn't mean for it to come out as rude but as I stood there in my apartment I felt like I was being judged by the only people that I didn't think would ever judge me. And before I could react I was screaming in her face with tears streaming down my own.

"I AM AN ADDICT Ok! I had a drink problem and a drug problem so this shouldn't be too much of a shock for you! I drink to ignore the empty diss appointed feeling in mh stomach." As they all looked around the room at one another probably having another secret conversation with each other. Carlisle was the only one who braved to speak.

"Bella...you are our family i dont like seeing my family hurting..." I held up my hand and lifted my coat off the hook by the hallway.

"Look I am broken and damaged and Edward was the culprit...he lied all this time he has been lying to me, you and himself. You guys left after Edward told you to. He says jump and you say how high..." They all tried to dispute if by denying it but I knew they do not even believe themselves.

"That's not..." I was on a roll and there is no way I am letting up.

"Yes it is! All of your aimlessly walk around and just exist...you have forever...I have this one small insignificant life to live and I want to live it my way ok with no judgement from anyone and no fear of letting anyone down. I am so sick of letting people down but I am me I can not change who I am...I can tell your disappointed and you know what so am I." I threw on my jacket and ran out of the house faster that I ever have in my entire life I'm surprised I didn't have steam flying out of my ears.

I was unsure where I was going and I knew it was stupid but I got behind the wheel of my car ad drove until I reached Forks Hospital. The last time I got behind the wheel of a car under the influence of a substance was when I wrapped it around a pole.

Walking into the hospital I stood at the door in my Abercromie and Fitch track pants that were painted on at the top and were tucked into my ugg boots. I need coffee, realising the time of night it was I saw if partially abandoned and I was glad of the quiet.

"Excuse me do you know where I can get a cup of coffee?" A petite nurse with gorgeous blue eyes and long puller box red hair smiled at me as I asked this.

"Umm third floor there is a relatives room that has the nicest coffee but that's not saying much since its a hospital." She was batting her eyelashes slightly as she said this and I flirted right back.

"Thank you...Amanda." I paused as I looked at her name tag and she smiled before standing up to be eye level to me.

"Umm I have a break in ten minutes maybe we could have a cup together?" I smiled a wide full toothed grin at her before doing an initial inspection. No wedding ring of visible scars she did however have a tongue ring and a rather large tattoo much the same as my own covering her upper arm.

"I have a better idea..." Maybe this is exactly what I needed...I haven't had sex in a really long time with either a man or a woman. The Cullens barely left me alone long enough to pee let alone have sex.

"Oh yeah...I'm all ears..." She smirked at me and the next thing you know I am pushing her up against the wall of an on-call room and kissing her senseless.

The feeling of her hands felt amazing on my skin and the touch of her tongue bar hitting my own was phenomenal. The girl was pretty and she was great in bed I can tell you that much. Everything I felt with her just felt like I was lying to myself though.

It didn't mean anything at all it was anonymous sex with a stranger and that's all it ever will be. As I left the on-call room leaving her to get cleaned up I walked to where he said I could get coffee and then went to sit with my dad ignoring the feeling in my stomach that made me want ice cold kisses and the tingling in my lips I used to get from Edward god I am so screwed.

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	23. Chapter 23

_**Hey Guys I want to thank you all for your continuing support with my Stories I love all of you andI love the fact that you all think the story is entertaining!**_

_**Please enjoy this next chapter and I will post more ASAP! **_

_**Chapter 23**_

_**BellaPOV**_

I walked into my dads room and saw him and Sue sleeping on his bed and Leah was sleeping on the couch across from them. She must have heard the door click shut because no sooner had I turned back around she was sitting up straight. My relationship with Leah hasn't changed overly much it was one of little words, she just nodded at me as I sat down on the chair beside my dad.

"So they are back for good then? In your life I mean not in Forks..." I just nodded and shrugged at her before looking at my dad and leaning my head against the back of the chair.

"So your not shacking up with Cullen are you?" I was relatively shocked by Leah's question because he doesn't ask me questions and I don't ask her questions but we do have a mutual respect for one another.

"No...far from it!" She just held her hands up at me and I realised I must have said that a little too abruptly.

"It's cool I was just asking cuz you have a hickey so I thought it was maybe Cullen...considering he likes the Jugular." My head immediately snapped around to the mirror and I saw it. A huge hickey on my collarbone as red as a traffic light.

"Hey I'm cool with it...just the Chief might not be too happy to see her daughter with a hickey...so go have it to you?" Ok now I get it...she spends her whole day with boys I mean...the whole girlfriend concept is probably foreign to her.

"A nurse at reception..." I grinned at her slightly too much and she grinned back at me before nodded her head.

"Was he any good?" I shook my head and this is probably not something she wants to hear but since we were bonding.

"She was fantastic..." I was always worried when I told people of my sexual preference and I know I usually just preferred not to let people think too much about it but alas I have no filter.

"Wow...I haven't given you nearly as much credit..." We sat in comfortable silence after that and I felt like I had gained a stepping stone with Leah if nothing else.

"Bells?" My dad blinked at me before looking at Sue and tucking a stray hair behind her ear before coming back to look at me.

"What are you doing here Bella?" I just shook my head and kissed his forehead before sitting back down again.

"I just came to visit you...how you feeling?" I lifted his chart and looked over his pain meds and realised he was ok with the stuff he gave him already. He nodded at me and smiled.

"Yeah I am good...oh hey Leah...didn't see you there." I knew that dad and Leah have grown close since Sue has been dating him but I don't know how close and I didn't eat to think too much about it.

"I can't believe it..." My father turned his glare at me before I realised he had zeroed in on my neck.

"What?" I decided to play the innocent as Sue woke up and sort of snuggled into my dads ribs before Leah cleared her throat. I guess she didn't want to see her mum cuddling up like a teenager anymore than I wanted to see my dad.

"Don't you what me Isabella Marie Swan! I can't believe you hooked up with someone while your father was lying in his sick bed..." I laughed at this because I don't know what's worse my dad uttering the words hooked up like he is in the ghetto or him using my full name.

"Ok you know what I am old enough now dad that of I did hook up I don't need to clear it with you..." He looked taken back by my direct approach and I felt him laugh at me.

"Touché...so who is he?" Leah let out a full guffaw at this which could have rivalled Emmett.

"It wasn't a he..." I slipped out of the chair and kissed him on the forehead before he could say anything.

"I'm gonna go dad I will be back in the morning." I flitted out of the room and out towards the door but I could have swore I heard him curse before I left.

"Excuse me..." I saw a young guy who had black spiky hair and a nurses uniform.

"Yeah."I asked him slightly annoyed at his puppy dog eyes and smile.

"Amanda asked me to give you this she is with a patient but she didn't want to miss you..." I nodded and took a small piece of paper with what I'm assuming is her number on it. I ran out to my the truck dad got me and climbed in, I am sober enough to drive now and I made my way home silently hoping they were all gone. I stopped outside my house and took the little piece of paper out of my pocket and dialled the unfamiliar number.

"Come on dude I just got off a double shift I am not coming in for another..." It was clear that I was not what she expected and I could hear the anger in her voice as she ranted.

"Amanda...it's Bella Swan from the hospital..." She laughed sort of embarrassed actually and of course I would probably do the same thing.

"Oh my god I am so sorry I didn't actually think you would call me..." I smiled as she probably thought the same as me but I hated to admit it I didn't want to be alone tonight.

"What are you doing right about now?" She replied nothing my next question is how we ended up coming into my house completely trying to tear each others clothes off. It wasn't until I heard someone clear their throat that I broke apart to find Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Leo looking at me.

_**Carlisle POV**_

As I watched Bella leave there was nothing I wanted to do more than to kick Edwards ass so bad it is killing me and as I ran my hand over Esme's I felt my blood boil right about now and knew that she was the only person that could calm me.

"Get Edward on the phone Rosalie...get him on the phone right now!" She looked taken aback by my high pitch tone, I very rarely raised my voice at anyone but right now I am really pissed off. I watched her dial the number and hand it to me with a worried but slightly smug smile on her face.

"Edwards phone..." Alice in all of her chipper little pixie voice was enough to calm me a little in order to have this conversation.

"Alice where is Edward?" I felt Esme place her cool hand on my the back of my neck and lightly run her fingers through the button of my hair around the nape of my neck and I felt the slight tension which has gathered dissipate from me.

"He is out hunting and moping..." I cut her off with a clipped tone which I am sure panicked her.

"Carlisle whats going on? Is Charlie ok?" I pinched the bridge between my nose.

"Just try and find him for me please Alice..." I was literally waiting for 20 seconds before I heard the skuffle on the other end of the phone.

"Oowwww Alice what the hell get off my jacket! This is a brand new coat!" She shushed him and I could hear a bang which sounded like Esme's coffee table broke. She must have heard the splinter of the wood because her head snapped up so fast I was sure her head was about to pop off.

"Why exactly is Carlisle pissed off? What did you do?" As she kept the accysations going all he kept saying 'nothing nothing I didn't do anything' and I noticed Esme getting closer and closer to the phone before Alice must have threw the phone at his head.

"Hello..." His voice was full of fear and trepidation which only made me even more eager to kill him.

"You are going to listen to me right now...get your ass down to Forks immediately and fix this Edward. She is hurting and it's all your fault, you are so lucky that I am not in Oregon right now because if I was I would kick your ass so hard your bruises would have bruises." I heard him taking in a breath and trying to speak meanwhile Alice giggled slightly at that but I wasn't finished yet.

"I don't care how you do it Edward just get down here and fix this. This person you left behind is a shell of the Bella we once knew and I bit my tongue at first but no more Ed...get your ass down here now!" I snapped Rosalies phone so hard if broke off.

"Wow babe...you look so sexy when you act all Neanderthalish it makes me want you!" Esme kissed me so hard for longer than I would have like in front of Emmett and Rose who I had always been a little too enthusiastic with there romance in front of us but it wasn't long until we heard clearing of throats and we broke apart.

"Come on when Bella comes home I expect she will want to go to bed...she doesn't want us here..." My family nodded at me and as we opened the front door I saw Rachel on the other side or more specifically Leo carrying Rachel.

"Is she ok?" He nodded and shushed us before lying her down on the couch and putting a blanket over her.

"This whole thing has completely exhausted her...she doesn't have any family and Charlie has been like a father to her." We only nodded in understanding before I explained what had happened with Bella and Edward on the phone. He explained he wanted to stay with Rachel and I laughed a little and warned him about the pissy mood Bella was in. We continued talking for a few more minutes but were interrupted by Bella falling through the door with a pretty young Blonde girl attached to her lips. I clear my throat in both embarrassment and awkwardness at the fact that it was kind of erotic to watch.

"Bella..." I had said her name and it caused the girl to break apart from Bella and look at us and the recognition in her eyes told me she remembered us. The girl straightened her clothes before turning to look between myself and Bella and buckled her jeans as belt up again.

"Carlisle didn't I tell you to leave?" She stood with her hands on her hips which caused the girl to touch her arm and motion to the door.

"I'm just gonna go..." Bella held right onto her wrist and shook her head before her angry eyes were directed

"No they are leaving come on...close the door on your way out." As I watched Bella retreat the next thing I heard was a bedroom door slamming and loud music followed by moans and heavy breathing and laughing. That was my cue to leave before any graphic visuals came to my head. Leo still opted to stay and keep a close eye on his girlfriend but I went home deciding to keep an eye out for Edward. I could only hope and pray that he fixed this.

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	24. Chapter 24

I really want to apologise that this Chapter is so small but I had to upload something even though it is just a small filler chapter...the next chapter is going to be super long so fret not!

Please Review and keep me updated with your feelings on my story!

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Chapter 24

I was unsure exactly what I was thinking I mean bringing a strange girl home from the hospital, only I would do such a stupid thing but damn could the girl kiss. The sun streaming through my curtains was the first thing that woke me out of my sleep.

Amanda was still asleep beside me and me walking around naked wasn't all that different but I heard Rachel speaking downstairs and bacon sizzling in the air so I am guessing Leo or else Sue is home because nothing Rach makes smells even remotely edible so to put me walking around in my birthday suit would not be feasible, so I threw a floaty top on that just covered my ass and walked down into the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower. As I stood under the hot spray I felt soft kisses on my neck ad shoulder before I turned and had a very successful repeat of last night.

"Can I stay for breakfast or is this a one time thing?" I smiled and lifted my head from the wall of the shower before laughing.

"No you can stay..." I had the initial reaction to say no but with my dad being sick I will be here for a while and this girl is amazing in bed so its a win win situation.

"But?" How do they always know I'm going to say but, I mean it's always really creepy when someone does that.

"Well I am only going to be here for a while and I'm not looking for a commitment or a relationship..." I was slightly worried incase she took it thick but she held her hand up and smiled before kissing me.

"Who said anything about a relationship ok...I am having fun and you are having fun that's all there is too it. When it comes time for you to leave we will go our separate ways ok I am not looking for a relationship either ok." I nodded at her and we both out a dried off before walking into my bedroom and changing.

The last thing I expected to find was Edward Cullen sitting in my kitchen chatting with Rachel but Lo and behold that is what I found when we both walked downstairs.

"Hello Bella..." I just shook my head and scoffed at him before walking over to say good morning to Rachel and Leo.

"Hey Guys this is Amanda...Amanda this is Rachel, Leo and Edward." The latter was glaring at me in an 'I can't believe you way' truth be told it was kind of fun to watch him uncomfortable.

"How do you know Bella?" Great the questions starting already I just touched her wrist.

"You don't have to answer that just ignore Edward that's what I do." Leo and Rachel fixed Amanda a plate and we all sat down at the table and I handed her a cup of coffee before she looked at Leo and Edward.

"You guys aren't eating?" They shook their heads and laughed.

"Vegetarians..." I just continued to eat my breakfast and the mindless chatter continued throughout the meal and Edwards cell phone rang and he excused himself from us and went outside to talk.

"Wow..." I turned to Amanda as she said this slightly confused before she continued "he's intense...what's the deal with you two?" Leo and Rachel excused themselves and went to sit in the lounge before I looked at her with annoyance in my eyes.

"We used to date..." I stood to put our dishes in the sink and she stood up and trapped me between the sink and her.

"Used to...as in past tense? Cause what I just saw didn't seem over to me." I could only laugh at her before I kissed her squarely on the lips and found her hands digging into my hips and pressing herself closer to me.

"Trust me it was over a long time ago...I don't even remotely like him anymore. In fact I can't stand him..." She nodded at me and we continued kissing for a few seconds and we both pulled back to get some air.

"Good cause I wouldn't want to have to vie for your affections with a young boy...how old is he anyway?" I just laughed ad kissed her again.

"I'm 21 but I have a young face...or so people tell me..." We both spin around and I see him glaring at me before Amanda's phone started ringing.

"Excuse me its work." I nodded and she walked out before I turned my anger to Edward.

"Who the hell do you think you are showing up here unannounced." I turned to put my coffee cup in the sink but I ended up just slamming it down.

"We'll judging from the faint whiff of Whiskey you fell of the wagon and Carlisle was concerned." Ok I was pissed no you know what I was so far beyond pissed.

"Carlisle...he called you...and what did he think you could tame me?" We were interrupted by Amanda coming back in.

"Sorry to eat and run but that was work they want me to cover the graveyard so I'm gonna go home and sleep for a couple of hours since I didn't get any last night..." Ok she is intentionally making him jealous. And I saw his fists tighten slightly so I'm guessing she was thinking about our sex filled session last night and he was reading her thoughts.

"Excuse me but as I recall you were the one trying to waken me every two seconds." Edwards jaw was clenched and fists balled even tighter.

"Ok I'm gonna go...see you later." She kissed me and floated towards the door but not before saying hello and nice to meet you to Edward, Rachel and Leo. Well this is gonna be fun!

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	25. Chapter 25

_**Chapter 25**_

As I put on my red skinny jeans and stripy blue and white long sleeved top I threw my hair up into a messy bun on the top of my head, I could feel his presence before I heard his voice.

"You heading to the hospital?" I turned slightly as I put on my jumper I saw his eyes momentarily linger on my ass and I think I was slightly proud that even though I wasn't dressed overly sexy I still had a pull on him.

"Yeah but you are better not going trust me...it's safer in case he tries to shoot you..." His cocky cheesy grin appeared on his face that infuriated me so much I wanted to smack it right off his face.

"I am bulletproof." Those three words combined with Cheshire Cat Cheesy shit-eating grin made my blood boil. I don't ever remember him being such a cocky fucker and I don't like it.

"I wasn't concerned with your safety don't flatter yourself. The bullet is more that likely to bounce off you and hit my dad then he would be shooting himself. Don't think that would go down too well in the Sheriff Department." His smile faltered slightly at my acid like tone and truth be told I was glad. There was only so much smile my knees could handle.I don't remember Rachel and Leo dissapearing.

"Ok...look I was hoping that a little perseverance and those iron clad walls surrounding you would drop and I would see the Bella I fell in love with but you really have changed. I am going to prove to you that I am a man worthy of your forgiveness." I nodded and there was a mixture of guilt and sadness in his golden eyes and he pinched his nose in a gesture I'm sure he didn't need to do. Then I said five words that froze him to the core

"I hope you enjoy disappointment..." As I grabbed the keys, my cell and bag I walked straight out of the house not before grabbing my Coat and leaving without one final glance in his direction. Driving toward the hospital I stopped at the diner and Marissa the waitress welcomed me back with open arms and asked how my dad was.

"He's much better thank you..." Marissa was an older lady mid 50's with long brown hair flecked with grey and the most comforting smile you will ever come across.

"We are all pulling for him and we put up a Get Well Soon card here and almost everyone in town has signed it..." She handed me a blue envelope with 'Chief Swan' written on the front of it.

"Thank you I know he will appreciate it." Marissa hugged me and gave me food and a free meal for my dad me and Sue on the house I left not before thanking her once more and making my way toward my truck. Arriving at the hospital I made my way up to dads room and saw Jake and Rose standing face to face outside the door obviously staring each other down.

"...I don't care Blondie if he comes near Charlie he will try and shoot him..." As I approached them both, they both took one more step towards each other.

"Trust me the last place Edward wants to do is hurt Bella...get that dog..." I saw Jakes fists ad jaw clench as she spat the word 'dog' with venom in her tone.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked with what I was hoping is a scowl but Jakes shoulders

"Barbie here was just filling me in that broody was here..." After Edward left Jake made up a new nickname for Edward...well a few nicknames but that was the only one that could be used in public.

"Broody, really at least show a little big of imagination..." He cocked his head at her before smiling.

"Well Barbie is imaginative, although she is better looking that you leech." She just turned in her heel to walk past me before turning around with her hair swiping my face.

"I will come back later when you put the dog out..." She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before walking away and She stepped towards the exit with her New Season Pradas clicking with her.

"What was that about?" He just shrugged before walking back into dads room and plonking himself onto the couch I saw the noticeable absence of Sue.

"Hey Bells..." Dad looked so much better his colour was brighter and he was sitting up with no more oxygen on. I set the food down on his table and went over to give him a big hug.

"Hey daddy...how you feeling?" He shrugged his shoulders much in the same way Jake had just done a few seconds previous.

"A lot better actually...you just missed Sue and Rosalie..." I nodded my head at him and mentioned seeing Rose on her way out.

"What's in the bag?" I got him out his meal and card from the diner which actually brought tears to his eyes. Dad has been going to that diner since he was a teenager so it was basically one big family so it's not surprising he is getting all sentimental on me.

"Thanks Bells..." I nodded and hugged him, we ate in comfortable silence and I shared my fries with Jake but didn't want to get too full incase his wife killed him for my eating his lunch when he goes home. The three of us sat around for another hour chatting before Jake left and dad fell asleep. It was somewhere around The nurses third and fourth check that he woke up and smiled at me.

"What!" I got a little paranoid at that and his smile grew even wider.

"Who is making you all swirly and twitchy?" My jaw dropped a little at that and he just looked at me.

"What I can be hip..." We both looked at each other and burst into laughter as he said that.

"Sure you can dude..." He shook his head and smiled at me.

"Seriously tho, who is he?" We were cut off before I could answer with Edward standing knocking the door. Ok I really want to smack him...hard. As he poked his head through the door I stood up and gritted my teeth.

"I told you not to come here!" I was right up in his face before I glanced nervously at Charlie.

"I wanted to show my apologies and wish your father a get well soon..." I put both hands on my hips and stared him down.

"I don't want you here, my dad doesn't want you here, why can't you get it into your thick skull...leave and crawl back under whatever rock you crawled out of." I turned to look at dad and the pride in his eyes was never more evident.

"I think you should go Edward..." My dad had a calm cool collected facial expression plastered all over him but it had a slightly smug hint to it. Finally after a few seconds Edward left but not without wishing my dad Get Well Soon and handed him a card from his family and flowers for me.

"So based on that reaction he is not the one that has made you all lovey dovey? Huh?" I shook my head and walked back over to my seat before sitting down and sighing.

"I can't believe he came here after I specifically told him not to. Asshole..." That last thing I expected my dad to do was laugh but the chuckles that emanated from his mouth were slightly uncharacterised and to be perfectly honest, it kinda freaked me out a little.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26 **_

It had been a week since dad had been shot and they had found the guy that done it. He lived in Port Angeles and was a drug addict meeting his dealer here in Forks of all places although I shouldn't be all that surprised in the long run because most of my drugs came from Forks or Port Angeles. Dad was getting out of hospital today and he kept insisting he was fitter that what he was, he knew that his physical mobility wa better but his mental one was not.

"Charles Swan put down the bag..." As the day went on I could see Sue getting more and more frustrated with dad. Leah and Seth who had recently became a permanent fixture in the hospital room were sitting on the couch with such an amused identical expression plastered on their faces.

"Charlie it's safer for you if you listen to her..." Carlisle was standing with us along with Esme. We were all go an go for lunch. Dad insisted he was fine although I had my doubt he needed rest not to go galivanting around town for food. As he put his coat on I saw him flash a dirty smile at Sue who just ignored him at first, but winked back at his persistence.

"Ready to go Chief Swan..." Esme ever the diplomat obviously saw him and Sue making goo goo eyes at one another and decided to intervene before Leah, Seth or myself could barf.

As we all made our was out to the car I saw The Cullen kids make their way their own respective vehicles and I decided to ride with Rose and Emmett, and much to my chagrin Edward. Alice, Jasper, Leo and Rachel rode together and Carlisle, Esme, Sue and Dad rode together.

Leah and Seth had patrol tonight and as they ran off into the woods we all made our way to the restaurant, it was 3.30 and the drive was awkward to say the least. Emmett kept making small innuendo about a threesome with me and Rose kept stealing glances between me and Edward who sat brooding in the back seat.

"Come on Bellaboo I am excellent in bed..." I laughed at Emmett as he kept ignoring the scowls and growls he kept getting from Edward and kept talking about it and before we knew it we were at the restaurant and sitting at our table.

"Can I take your order please?" All of the humans ordered proper meals and all of the vampires ordered salads and I couldn't help but laugh at the whole concept of going out for food when half of the party doesn't eat. We had been eating and drinking for a while now before Dad stood up to give a toast.

"Sorry to interrupt but I need to say this...over the past few days I have got to know you all and I can honestly say that I am very grateful that my Bells has you all in Oregan because I worry about her and Rachel being on their own." He looked at Edward and continued.

"Even though you left her I know you love her and all of you love them both now and all I want is you to be happy sweetie you know that right?" I nod and stand up to give him a hug and we clung to each other for a little while longer.

"What I am trying to say is thank you for coming back into her life but if you leave again I will find you and kill you..." I laughed at him before turning to him and holding onto his shoulders. " I don't forget I am a cop and I know how to use a gun." I pulled him into a hug and whispering in his ear.

"I love you daddy!" I squeezed him tighter and two hours later we were on our way home. Both Rachel, Carlisle and I need to get back to work at some point and...apparently having three major staff members off is a big no no. As I fell asleep that night I couldn't help but feel bad, Edward has tried his hardest with me and I know I am making it incredibly hard for him and I have came to the conclusion that I am going to try and make amends. I am obviously not losing him anytime soon so I may as well civil.

It was 10am when we got to the airport the following morning after saying my goodbyes to my dad and promised to see him in Florida with mom for thanksgiving when we are off. As everyone was paired off and wanted to sit with their respective others on the plane I was with Edward and following our last encounter alone together I was slightly dreading it and he must have picked up on that.

"Look I know you hate me Bella I get it but can we please get through this flight and then I promise you if you want me gone I will leave..." He pulled the seatbelt closer to him and looked out the window as the plane taxied toward the runway. Things were strained and awkward the whole way through the first half of the flight and I must have fell asleep because the next thing I know I am being shook awake by Edward.

"Bella...we're landing..." As I lifted my head embarrassingly from his shoulder I sat up straighter exchanging a few glances from him before I felt the all too familiar jolt of electricity as he set his hand on the armrest at the same time as I did. I immediately withdrew my arm and sucked in a breath of air and my heart pounded in my chest.

I continued to look at the seat directly in front of me as the plane got closer and closer to the ground I saw him looking at me with those big golden eyes that were full of adoration and in that moment my resolve disappeared and I turned to him.

"I don't hate you...albeit I don't particularly like you right now. I have spent so much energy trying so hard to hate you for what you did to me and then I realised I am in a job that I love. I have the best friend that I would never have had if you had stayed. I'm exhausted trying to hate you...I don't wanna do it anymore."

As I leaned over and pressed my lips to his he was momentarily shocked by this until his hand came to rest on my neck as he wrapped his hands through my hair and kissed back with much enthusiasm. The tears were streaming down my face the whole way through my speech but he just continued to smile.

"This doesn't mean we are together in any way...and it will take me a while to completely trust you again but...I will be your friend. I won't act like a raging bitch to you deal?" He nodded and pulled me I for a hug and breathed in my scent in my hair and I held on revelling in the feeling of his arms wrapped around mind as the plane came to a bump and everyone clapped as the airplane slowed to a crawl to exit the runway but all I could feel was his body pressed against mine and a huge urge to rip his clothes off him and let the whole of the plane see me screw his brains out.

I AM IN SUCH MAJOR FUCKING TROUBLE.


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